Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I've been in a freaking bad mood for the whole of last week. Except for the cellgroup meeting and service this week, and the fellowships, I've been in an extremely ticked off mood since Monday that's beyond reasoning and words.
I was already reeling from exhaustion for not sleeping properly in 2 weeks and on Monday, my schoolmate/colleague Daniel had to piss me off. Our cubicles are beside each other, and out of the blue he asked me "Did you pass your English?" I jokingly replied "Are you trying to insult me?" with a laugh at the end, and he turned cold and said "You think your English very good is it?" Oooooh... I've already had a lack of sleep and I the first thing I hear is him being so damn rude to me, especially early in the morning, when I'm dead tired and hungry. He's probably the first person to actually question my English since I've moved here. For your freaking information, YES I did pass. Yes my English is quite good. It's a hell lot better than most of the population here. Is it Very good? That depends. I don't think test papers determine all your English prowess. As for my English, it sure is a hell lot better than yours! Who keeps asking me how to spell words almost everyday?! Who keeps asking me the correct use of grammar and vocab when we email clients?! Who keeps asking me to edit his letters?! And you passed your English. It's a freaking insult to me when you replied that. I can take jokes if you insult my English, but when you're THAT cocky and rude in your response, I get freaking ticked, especially when I'm in a seriously bad mood.
Next day I was supposed to have lunch with all the attachment guys. While I was waiting for some of them, I remembered I needed to get something. When I took it and went back, they had all disappeared. I don't overreact when I'm ditched, but when they told me to wait and they go off themselves, it ticks me off, and it adds on when I'm still in a grumpy mood with a very hungry stomach and and still dead tired. Adding fire to my bad mood was the response from the people I called to enquire about Pluto Tech products. It's not them rejecting, but their tones. Geez.
Wednesday Ganesan, the head of the tech department, called and asked me to help out in the tech department, and not at all in a friendly way. I went down, and helped out. As I haven't been in the tech department for 4 weeks, the first thing I did was slice my finger and cut my hands on metal I dunno how many times. I was tired, hungry, and just had to have more salt in my wounds (literal I suppose) in addition with my bad mood.
Thursday was a big break and I went out with the cellgroup members for an outing with games. As it's not part of my bad mood, I'll blog about it another time. But I did have some people be sanctimonious pricks at times that day.
On Friday Ganesan called me and told me I was going to be shifted back to the tech department until the end of my attachment. I never like to have things pushed to me suddenly, and in the manner Ganesan spoke to me, I was very ticked. I told him I still had stuff to do in the admin side and that I had a lot unfinished. He didn't care and still wanted me back up there. Daniel told me he wanted to go to the tech department, and I told Ganesan that, but he wanted ME to be down there, not Daniel, even though I didn't want to go down there on such short notice. I hung up on Ganesan and went back to my stuff. Then Ganesan called again a few minutes later, and said that the boss wanted me down there. I had no way of proving it, but I didn't want to test my boss either, so I went down.
Before I was shifted to admin, I was in charge of the tech department's customer service, helping to solve customer problems and troubleshoot simple things over the phone. Because of my English and my friendlier mannerisms over the phone, I was stuck with that till I was moved to admin. Now back in tech side, Ganesan told me he wanted me to attend the phone calls again, whilst doing the technical stuff. Ganesan already pissed me off with his attitude over the phone earlier. I was still having the grumpiness from the week, and I was still dead tired. Daniel's last words to me when I was leaving the admin office made me even more pissed. So when the first customer called, Ganesan picked up because he was right beside the phone. The customer complained to him that he didn't want to speak to a Singaporean, and that he wanted to speak to a non-Singaporean. Obviously I was his first choice. So I picked up the phone and the guy didn't even say hi, he just said in a freaking loud, rude tone "Are you Singaporean?!" I was already pissed enough, and I don't take crap from nobody when I'm pissed. Not even customers. I replied to him in the same tone "Yeah right, you wish. I'm not a Singaporean." With an air of cockiness and rudeness. My colleagues were stunned at my attitude, and they all turned to look in my direction. He registered my tone immediately and continued to yell loudly over the phone in a ruder tone. There was something wrong with his computer, and when I'm pissed, I tend to spite people pretty bad and make an embarassment out of them. He mentioned his computer shakes when he turns it on, so I said loudly, for everyone in the tech department to hear, "Sorry? Your computer's a vibrator?" You can't imagine the laughs that burst out from my colleagues. I'm quite sure the guy heard the laughs, and continued to tell me more about the problems. I continued to embarass him over and over again, until he said he'd bring down the computer for servicing and he promptly hung up. Just so you know, Ganesan decided to pick up the calls himself from then on.
Adding on to my pissed off mood are the Indian songs that Ganesan plays when trying out computers. The boss complained a few days ago that the ITE students were watching Youtube and stuff which severely lagged the company network. Turns out that its just Ganesan watching his damn Indian songs over Youtube. Seeing the vids of them dance around trees is alright, but the songs are downright annoying. Daniel also watches Youtube vids, and the boss complains and assumes its the rest of us. Freak. My bad mood continued as I assembled the PCs. Where we were supposed to put the remaining screws and bolts into an area nicely, I just tossed them over, not giving a damn where it ended up. I also used more force than necessary to remove certain parts, having them fling around all over the place. No one's complaining though, but I'm sure they're all aware of the mood I'm in. I also responded to my colleagues freaking rudely. When I went off because I was called down to settle some admin stuff I left behind, they asked me where I was going. I said "Downstairs. I told you I had a lot to do, and I was still moved here." then I was asked "How long?" "Don't know, don't care. Don't give a damn." Was my reply, and I just walked off.
After that, during cellgroup, I finally had some peace, with God's presence. But there was one mood spoiler. What's her problem?!
Saturday was also a big break. In work, the colleagues tried more friendly tones with me, well aware of my bad mood the last few days. Service also helped, as the worship was really good. The fellowship at Orchard was also good. Except the later part of the evening. I was getting ignored by "her" repeatedly and suddenly my bad mood came back in full force. I went straight off when my mood arrived and made some lame excuse about going home on time, because I didn't want my bad mood to be noticed by everyone. Not to mention getting ignored by "her" repeatedly was already bad enough, and I didn't want to be ignored by her again later on. Plus, I didn't want to say or do anything in my bad mood I'd regret later on.
People say I have a fierce expression all the time. People usually make way for me when I walk along the streets. This time, they didn't just make way when I was walking past, they made way metres ahead before I'd even reach them. I was in a freaking bad mood again, no doubt with "her" ignorance, and my expression was even worse than usual. On the MRT ride back, no one touched my pole when I gave them a really bad stare and even the checkpoint officer didn't look at my face except for a very, very brief glance just to make sure it was me on the passport.
It was past midnight when I reached JB, so I took a cab ride back. Details another day, but this taxi driver managed to erase my entire bad mood during the journey home.