Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Friday, April 11, 2008
Do you ever wish you could just fly away? From all your problems. From all your issues.
I'm just so tired of all this. To show an exterior that isn't me. So sickened by politics. Pissed off by the people you love.
Is everything so visible? Indeed.
Let me be who I am, yet be who You want me to be.
I received this revelation a while ago, but it was reiterated when I was at St Andrews Cathedral. The poignancy and simplicity, yet the beauty of it, surprised me. I'm just overwhelmed with so many things. Your future, your education, your image, your family, your walk with God. It's just so tiring. Yet in an unforgettable meeting, I was told only tired people change the world.
But what if you're so tired you just want a break? From all the hypocrisy? From all the picking of favourites? All the biasness? Yet it'd mean I'd be taking a break from impacting people's lives. From leading those who need help. From loving others as I should.
What justifies leaving all your problems for another day? It just delays it. Yet you'd value that break so much. You've crossed a threshold, but you have no idea how far. You don't see the consternation people have around you. Must I castigate to have it realized? Be not afeard though. The beauty of rest is something I will clearly enjoy. The indelible moments I can find peace in. Sometimes, a thousand cries of horror will asphyxiate in my nightmares. Then, if I had awakened after long sleep, which would then have me sleep again, in dreaming, the clouds methought would open and show such beauty that when I waked, I wished to dream again.
Must my relief be only through sleep? Epistaxis would be a welcome to awaken my soul. Bathory's ecstacy, a gruesome sight? Notwithstanding the thoughts of her on my skin, but those I feel inclined to include. Surreal thoughts of satire just make me think daily... is it all worth it? Why do I endure what is unnecessary? Your sins are so salient. Why do your other lackeys not endure the same? Stand on guard for thee. Yet have you hurt me. You'd think Menethil would be have been harder to understand, but that is so false.
I need to get a break... just get away for a while.