Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I was about to update, and reply my tags. Changed my mind.
I'm gonna make a rant. Sure... I've been a little ticked off in the last few days, but when's the last time I ranted? Oh yeah... the disastrous clubbing incident. Well, forgive me for ranting again. Yeah... again.
Have you ever had friends who've broken promises? I'm sure you have. But have you ever had someone do this repeatedly? Yes, I think? Lemme explain what's going on here. I've got a friend, called Morose (name changed to protect identity, although it's bloody obvious).
Okay, here's the story so far. First, Morose had some opinions about me, and was afraid to let me know about it. After repeated attempts to find out, which were blatantly ignored or changed to completely different topics, I got extremely pissed off, to which she finally told me. That wasn't it though. I wasn't pissed of her opinions of me, but the fact she she kept freaking avoiding my questions. There's a moron in my class who's very brilliant at this, and she dislikes him for ignoring questions too. But she's got no damn problems ignoring me and changing topics. What the hell?
We settled it eventually. Fine, issue over.
Secondly, there was one time she had made a passing comment that she wanted to go out. So alright, I get the directions, talk a bit more and just as I'm about to drive, she says she was just kidding and such. Seriously, what the freaking hell? She says that she doesn't want to be caught by her parents, who are very restrictive of her going out. Fine! Just say so! If you couldn't go out in the first place, why the hell did you act like everything was fine and you could go out? Screwed me at the last minute with this sick joke.
Heck, this wasn't settled so easily. We had a talk (argument) from 12 to 7am on MSN, and this continued with a "talk" on the phone from 7am to 9am. When's the last time you had a literal multimedia argument for 9 hours? I don't count SMS-cum-phone call arguments -.-. Anyway, during this period, we had a long, long discussion. First, I was pissed with the way she said things. She'd say one thing, then change it minutes (sometimes seconds) later, giving another damned reason for it. Repeatedly, she'd say she'd do something, to change herself, or say she'd go out at night, and later on she'd say something like "I can't help myself" from doing the stuff all over again and that she doesn't wanna let her parents find out. What's the point, seriously? I will change, but I can't help myself if I do it again. What the hell? She kept apologizing, which wasn't what I wanted. What I wanted was a damn explanation for why she kept lying all the freaking time. Say one thing, mean another. I consider that a lie. She claimed she never lied to me, but after giving many examples of her twisting her words, she said fine. Okay, she admitted she lied. So why deny it then? Okay... it was settled at close to 9am, with her saying she would change, and would prove it to me the next time possible (aka, immediately). Okay then. I said I trusted her and forgave her.
Happy ending? Screw that. Just hours ago, she suggested watching a movie on Friday. I had thought along similar lines, instead a Thursday midnight movie, then hang out a bit and drive her back. She said she'd ask her dad first, which is something she said she wouldn't do. Okay, you might be saying I'm the moron for telling her to disobey her parents, indirectly. If you'd like a lengthy discussion and my rationale, talk to me directly, don't assume so fast, there's a lot more than I'm putting down here. I hate it when people assume. I've been doing plenty of assuming myself lately. I've assumed that friends actually listen and will follow through with their words. Morose has proven me so damn wrong. Anyway, so I said isn't this contrary to what she promised? But oh, she wants her parents to trust her (something they haven't done in years, even though she breaks no rules). Gee. Okay, obey my parents, break another promise, make another lie. Her parents won't let her out at night. What seriously makes her think they'd let her go for a midnight movie? Why even bother asking? I told her to screw it and not to bother asking for permission. After all, if they're scared she'll drown when she goes to a swimming pool, will they think its safe for her to watch a movie with guys? Oh, its so dark in the theatre, what if something happens! What if the movie makes her laugh until she snorts popcorn, or if its so scary she'll be trauamtized for the rest of her life?
Why ask what will be denied? (And you know it).
Was all that talk about her promises and changes and such just to make me feel better? To cool me off? Just saying things so they'd be settled that night? Um, morning. To hell with that. You'd rather lie, and lie, and lie and make false promises so that the issue won't be fully dealt with at that point? I hate it when people do that. And she knows me quite well. I'm direct, I can take any comment you say. So why lie? Trying to ignore the subject at hand? Change the topic? Don't deny you've lied. You've acknowledged as much.
Now... you might be thinking one of three things. Either, I'm underreacting (you're insane), its reasonable for my anger, or I'm overreacting. Just so you know... this situation (breaking promises, twisting words, lies) has happened many times. But it has only happened twice to this extent. This is one time, of course. What about the other time? Why am I taking this so personally?
Because... it ended with my break up with Zhi Xuan at 3am, December 19, 2003.