Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Okay, the last few days of college have been some of the most awkward since school's started. Imagine walking with a friend and not speaking a word at all when you two are together.
Okay, in case you're wondering, yes this is about Morose. School has started, and remember the last time I ranted about what she did? Well, if you piss someone off, and attempt to mend the friendship, what's the first thing you do? Well, for her, its act like nothing's happened. Sort of. She's been trying to get on my good side by talking casually with me and acting like nothing went wrong. I reply with one word answers most of the time. 99% of the time I don't even look at her. You call this effort? Oh, please.
You see, for the first 2 times we argued, I always brought up the topic whenever I had the chance. No one likes having conflicts with your closest friends, and I wanted the issue settled. Either its fixed or broken completely. Okay, so I'd always cut the crap to get the whole issue over. The third time round, however, I just got tired. Why is it always me who settles it? Why the hell do I care so much that I need to get the issue over with? And I'm the one forgiving her in the end. This time round, I was just tired from doing that all over again. She breaks a promise, lies for the millionth time and then pisses me off. You could say its like a cycle.
Anyway, like I said, this time round, I was just tired. I'm not in the wrong yet I'm the one going for a settlement of the issue. So this time round, I didn't bother settling it. I'd give cold replies and ignore her in real life, to see if she'd still bother. What have I seen? If you actually bother about the friendship, the first thing you shouldn't do is act like nothing happened. But she does exactly that. You've pissed me off, and haven't apologized nor given an explanation. Do you seriously think I'd reply you happily and go "Lol" on conversations? If you do, you're really deluded.
Hell, I wanted the issue settled. So what's the first thing she does? Take things for granted. A few weeks back she asked me and another friend out for a movie. She asked for my opinion on what movie. I wanted to watch a horror movie, but she was adamant on not watching a scary movie. Fine, since I'm fine with any movie and she doesn't want to watch a scary movie, I said anything. She took that as a cold shoulder on my part. Geez. You ask for my opinion, but you don't want to watch what I suggested, so I say watch whatever you want. You know what happens? She doesn't reply anymore, and my friend and I have no idea what's going on. Even at 2am she didn't bother to reply us and we needed to ask what was going on the next day. She never gave a clear answer, and I only found out at 9am that she had ditched us and decided to watch a movie with another person. I had already seen the movie she wanted to watch, and I guess she assumed I wouldn't want to watch. Right. Movies are for people who haven't seen them only. Not for hanging out with friends and chilling out. I'll take note of your logic. She coulda at least told us that. Nopes. She left us in a lurch with no idea what the hell was going on.
Geez. Why must I bother about the friendship if she doesn't? Does she? If she does, she's got a hell of a way of showing it. If you really want to fix the friendship, I need an explanation. Why you've lied a million times, and why you haven't apologized. Contrary to the other 2 times, I actually want an apology this time. Mainly because I find it damn weird that everytime she pissed me off, it was me taking initiative to solve it. Everytime she did something wrong I always went to try to solve the issue. This time round when I didn't bother, neither did she. Okay, so I take it that unless I take initiative, she doesn't care? Fine, so be it.
Like I said. I want an apology. For the first time I want one. Second, an explanation. Better be a good one. If it's gonna take 20 minutes to say something, then forget it. If the argument lasts 9 hours like the last time, I'm fine with it, so long you can explain yourself in the end. Oh, and don't lie in the process too. You did that countless times and I still forgave you at the end of the argument. Sometimes, I think I forgive too easily. Not this time though.
I expect a phone call on Friday night. You take way too long to reply in MSN. 20 minutes to give a few words. Geez. I'm not going to waste my time. A phone call to settle it. If not, I assume you don't care about the friendship at all. If it comes to that state, don't ever address me again. Heck, don't even look at me. You can still sit around, you can still ask me things, talk to me. But don't expect me to ever look at you again. After all, by then I'd known what you consider friendship. Screw your friends and act like nothing happened. And for you, to expect them to settle it all the time.
For those who think I'm a moron right now, I don't completely blame you. It's just I have a tolerance level. A pretty high one at that. I can have someone I hate scratch my eye and piss me off almost daily and I still won't react. However, screwing your close friend 3 times in a row (me) kinda brings it to a different level. And boy, did she push the right buttons to exceed that level. I've just had enough. If you don't bother, I don't see why I should either.
A phone call. Friday night. Remember. If not, don't consider me as your friend at any point in your life.
"Screw your friends and act like nothing happened." Sometimes I amaze myself with quotes.