Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Monday, October 20, 2008
Heh... I slept with someone the other night.
I slept with Ducky!
That's the group of us who stayed over in Henry's house.
Okay... those pictures were a precursor to a more serious matter. So... when you read that I slept with someone, what were the first things that went through your mind? Knowing me, you probably that it was a joke, or a pun. Or maybe for a second you were fooled. Or, maybe you thought I really slept with someone. Even worse, you criticized me in your head of not being an ideal Christian because I made such a joke. I'd consider you a mood spoiler then.
I thught I'd take this time to talk about something many, many people claim they are: open minded. Usually, when people claim they're open minded, it usually means that they're open to hear things and take another person's perspective in seeing things, while not necessarily being influenced or changed themselves. It usually refers to people you know that aren't narrow minded and conservative (not the political or religious sense).
Okay, now on with it. I know thousands of people, literally thousands. Perhaps more if I bother to count. I have a few hundred friends, in the general sense. I have possibly 100 very good friends. Out of this number, I have many good friends, that I have not bothered to count, because I don't like to segregate my closer friends into different categories. Out of those thousands I know, I think nearly all of them would consider themselves open minded. I know a few who openly don't call themselves open minded, which surprises me 'cause they're narrow minded and don't care. But what surprises me even more is the fact that so many people call themselves open minded when in reality they're not. Heck, it annoys me.
What standard do people use to measure open mindedness anyway? Granted, it is extremely subjective, but I'll be using my own standard of open mindedness, which through experience is generally more or less the usual expectancy of open mindedness. If you think I'm too open minded, then does that not make you less open minded? Anyway, like I said, many people consider themselves open minded, but few actually are. I know many people who say in their Friendster that they're kind, generous, open minded and some even say it face to face (sometimes to me). I see their attitudes and laugh it all in my head.
I've often been asked why I only wear black. Occasionally I wear something other than black and it causes an uproar. Well, for one thing, I like black because its a very practical colour. Ask ANY fashion designer and they'll tell you black is always trendy. That's why they say "something" is the new black, when referring to a new trend. In a sense, its a safe colour and not flashy, which is something I avoid, 'cause I don't like flashy clothes... just a preference. Also, black clothes easily hide stains. I've had 2 incidents where I wore a white shirt, and the second time a blue shirt. Both times, coincidentally, I happened to eat curry. A few drops spilled on the shirts and till now, both of them still have the stains, no matter how many times they've been washed. With a black shirt, I don't need to worry at all, since they won't show up, and no one will know. Plus, black is just my favourite colour, and just as people like to use or wear their favourite things, tell me what's wrong with wearing my favourite colour?
Ah, but so many "open minded" people tell me to change my colours. If you're so open minded as you claim you are, why are you telling me something to suit yourself? I don't mind if its a passing suggestion, but seeing the fervency of me wearing black, they tend to up the ante by having an almost equal fervency in getting me to change colours. Luckily no one has said God would want me to change colours, 'cause I'd go ballistic if I heard that.
Also, these open minded people themselves have issues themselves that I find would disqualify them from being open minded. Again, you say who am I to judge? I'll let you be the judge. You say you're open minded about me going clubbing but you say its not right for me to go clubbing, when I do nothing wrong at all. You tell me you appreciate people's fashion sense to a very liberal degree, but the moment someone wears something you disagree with, you criticize them straight away. You claim to be open minded about different religions, but the moment someone makes a comment about yours, you get extremely easily offended for a trivial matter. Or perhaps on the other side of the spectrum, you claim you respect all religions but you bitch about them at the same time. You make jokes and act so carefree, but the moment you see any hint of subversion, you instantly become Mr Jealousy and become one of the most ridiculous people ever. Okay, I'm being a bit vague here, 'cause everyone I'm mentioning here is based on a real person and they read my blog, or at least have access to my blog and occasionally read it. When? I have no idea. I have to be a little sensitive at least.
Parents too, they often say (or believe) they're open minded. Yeah right, seriously. If you're open minded, you'd let your child go to church if it was their own decision. Yet you take a pot and smash your own child's head. You throw their Bible in the garbage and say the religion is total crock. You rip your child's Bible in half. You burn the Buddhist sutras. Or worse, you kick me (yes, I'm referring to myself) out of your house 'cause you think I'm a gangster who's out to steal things from your house and you lie to me straight to my face and tell your son to lie to me too, which he doesn't. Plus, you think I'm a bad influence too. Open minded? Most Asian parents I know are bloody conservative and narrow minded in all aspects. Compare them to Western parents (majority at least) and you'll wonder why your child wants to go to Western countries.
When I put on eyeliner, wear all my chains and all, its mainly because I like to. I'm not a gothic wannabe, 'cause to be a goth, besides the fashion, you must have a mindset of a goth, which I realize has many similarities to my own opinions, but is downright different on some others. Besides, I'm too lazy to put eyeliner every day, and 'cause I'm tired most of the time, the tendency to rub my eyes would rub away the eyeliner. Often, I see parents react with shock or surprise at my looks. Spiky hair, black shirts, ripped jeans. Seriously, who would want their child to associate with such people? I understand their plight, that they would want their child to mix with good company, but at the same time I can't help but wonder what makes them so narrow minded? Honestly, when I see people to claim they're open minded (majority of the world) and I see outright contradictions of their open mindedness, I laugh in my head. It's priceless to see how they claim one thing but act like completely another. It really opens up my perspective to see what hypocrites they are. It gives me streets smarts too, ya hear me dawg?
But in all honesty, I'm typing this because I'm sick of the narrow mindedness I see around me. Forgive me if it seems like I'm bragging, but I'm one of the most open minded people I know. Sounds arrogant? I can understand. Though if you'd like to challenge this, you can ask any of my friends who know me decently well. They can testify to it. I am very liberal with what people wear, what people do, what people believe in, and even with sensitive issues like terrorists, sex and races, I am open minded. Just because I may not agree on something doesn't mean I don't give the respect due and at least listen and appreciate. That's being open minded, and I think anyone will agree on that. As I said, I don't need to be my own witness. Others can easily testify to my open mindedness. If you claim I'm arrogant in proclaiming something I'm believe is true, then are you not arrogant in making a truth claim that claims the opposite? Think.
I'm just one guy, and a blog post isn't going to change the narrow mindedness of people around me. I realize that the people that are closer to me are the people who are open minded. Granted, they may not be as open minded in some areas, but generally they are in most. So if you're a good friend of mine, consider it almost certain you're open minded according to the usual ideal. It's truly great to have open minded friends and you can talk about anything. Anything. Love lives, parents, religions, sex (even the deep down "kinky" stuff). Nothing is off limits, and that you can talk freely without having to worry about what they think is liberating. It really opens up your perspectives and you learn new things, new opinions. I'm glad that practically all my close friends are open minded. If they were not, we would not be good friends to begin with. Thats not to say people I'm not close with aren't open minded. Regardless... deep, ensuing conversations would not follow and the friendship would not develop and gain depth.
Are you open minded? Let's hope so, for the sake of the world.