Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I've been single for the last 5 years. It's not for a lack of trying, but bad choices on my part, and failure to really understand what I would be getting into.
A relationship with someone you love is really beyond words. When you make a commitment to be with someone, what are you thinking of for the future of the relationship? Short term relationship? Marriage? So often we make our decisions and choices based on our emotions at the time. Logic never helps, even as much as we'd like to think it does. And if it does, you don't really feel for that person then. Logic and emotion are two opposing forces. Mututally incompatible.
I went home last night feeling on top of the world. It reminded me so much of my time with my girlfriend last time. Having a meal, letting her do all her shopping, and just teasing her, and just keeping the humour and love between you alive. Happily strolling through wherever she wants and helping her make her choices, giving her your opinions. Knowing more and more about each other as you enjoy the day. Top it off with a movie, where there's so much laughs and plenty of tears. The moments when her hand is there just for you to hold it, and the times when her hand touches yours all too often. When you drop your hand against hers and its just left there. But never holding her hands? Ouch.
Just strolling down after the movie, talking about how good it was. Bringing her for supper and sharing so much about your life, your experiences, your hurt, your sorrows. There's almost nothing comparable to knowing the one you love so much, in such a time as this. Pouring your heart out because you trust her. Letting her understand what you're like, what youve been through, what has shaped you. Past hurts, past relationships, and the revelations of things we just can't imagine.
Best of all, you send her home and go back feeling like you've conquered the world.
And I think I better own up to something. I lied. On my August 13, 2008 post, that bottom part describing what I imagined? It's all true. I merely described what happened between me and her. And this post, wasn't my memories. It's what really happened the other day.
I've seen relationships start magically.
I've seen relationships develop supernaturally.
I've also seen relationships end tragically.
Human beings are able to express so much and experience so much. There's something spiritual, even divine, about relationships. Is love all about serotonin and chemicals giving a euphoria to yourself? Science has conceded that it cannot explain why love is just... love. Neither can religions. You cannot explain love. You can say what it does, how it makes you feel, and even Who it is. But you cannot explain it. Its something beautiful. Look at your feelings, and specifically, love, and honestly ask yourself, is there something beyond this? The truth of relationships is this, it's exclusive. To both of you. A spark of attraction, a spiritual connection, two flesh joined as one. Call it what you what. What you can't deny is that only through an experience of the relationship can you know you're doing something beautifully magical, just by loving.