Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
2008 has been a very interesting year for politics. In this year (and later today) half of the G8 countries had elections. G8, a group of 8 countries, controls more than 2 thirds of the world economy, and 7 of the 8 countries have the highest military expenditure in the entire world. It's very high profile and the countries are the most developed in the world. In a sense, its the "great 8". Also, half the world's nuclear powers also had elections this year. If you count 2007, nearly all countries in the G8 and nuclear powers have had elections, with over half changing leaders.
So, with the world's most powerful countries shifting leaders and positions, it's indeed been a very interesting political year (or two). Leaders affect the people under them, and for my post today, I'd thought I'd talk about something that I am involved with all too often, leadership.
Now leaders are very important, as much as you might dislike them, be it your Prime Minister, President, or hopefully not, your Pastor, Rabbi or Imam. Anyhoo, I respect leaders with the basic respect, and if I support them, then even more so. Admittedly, there have been poor leaders in all areas, and they affect the lives of millions, and possibly billions of people.
How do I get involved in this? Well, for one thing, I've been stuck being a leader in many areas! Heck, for every group project I've had in this school, I've been the group leader. For history I was even the vice president. Then I'm still the class monitor. I've been a councillor in my previous secondary school, and even back in junior school (primary, to Malaysians and Singaporeans) I was often a leader of my group of friends, and often took charge of the decisions. Then in church I was also a helper. It's not an outright leadeship position, but it's still leadership to a certain extent. Now some people love to be leaders, and they know it. They respect the position and those under them, and they have the charisma and skills to lead. Me? I'll be honest. I hate being a leader.
Now, I don't hate leaders, don't get me wrong. I just hate being in a position of leadership, even though I've gone through countless leadership positions in my life. Now I know a few people who'd say I have a wrong mindset, and that with the church's focus on the marketplace and business in the last few years, I'm not going to make a difference if I'm not a leader. Yeah, I know the doctrines alright? I've been in church for 6 years already. Sure, I'd like to make a difference in the marketplace and change people's lives. But at the same time I don't like being a leader. Contradicting? Not my fault -.-.
I don't deny I do well in leadership positions. The feedback for my performance in the leadership positions in the last few times has been positive, and one particular friend actually listed down a bunch of things I did different compared to other leaders that made me stand out more, and be more likable compared to the others. Well, kudos. She listed them down and I realized its just the way I am. I'm just leading based on how I want to lead. However, people often say that for your job, its better to do something you like than something you don't. Yeah I say the same for my leadership positions. It's important so I take charge, but I just dislike the position. There's so much you need to worry about. All the individual members, are they doing their job, are they okay, is everything in order, when's the next meeting, what to do, and all that. For church leaders, its even more difficult 'cause you have to worry about spiritual lives and sins, evangelizing. Heck, their eternity is partly in your hands!
I don't like the leadership positions because they make me someone I'm not. I don't like to lead, I don't like telling people what to do. In church, the position I enjoyed the most was a helper, where you're given responsibilities, and partly you're leading, but you're more in the back, where you don't outright lead, but you're someone to be reckoned with (not in the fight sense -.-) regardless. Uh, for example, take Wolverine from the X Men as an example. He's clearly not the leader for the team, but he does do important stuff and is definitely someone important (and a bonus, he's Canadian). For kids, the Green Ranger from the first Power Rangers is something typical of Wolverine too, and the position I'd prefer. And no, I don't mean doing fancy stunts and wearing a green helmet. Although I do think he's still quite cool, compared to all the other power rangers. Hmmm... maybe I should find better real life examples. Uh... I can't think of any at the moment. All the high profile leaders that are good seem to be outright leaders -.-.
Okay, nevermind. My focus for leadership today will be about cellgroup leaders. Why? For one thing, many people I know want to be a cellgroup leader in the future. Some already are, and want to move on to pastoral staff later on. I've never wanted to be a cellgroup leader, for the reasons I mentioned above. I'm perfectly happy with being a helper, or even a key helper, but not a leader. Yeah yeah, call it the wrong mindset or what, but its just me. I don't like being a leader and even if I do the duties of a leader, I won't enjoy it. I'm focusing on cellgroup leadership because I recently had a chat with someone who knows she wants to be a leader in the future, and thats her next step already. Isabel from my cellgroup in Singapore is on the way to becoming a leader already. I had a talk about leadership with one of my cellgroup member's mom, who's a member of CHCKL. The talk somehow ended up being about leadership positions, and she asked whether I'd want to be a leader in church. I flatly outright said no. Then she's like why? I told her everything, and she said, "You never know where God will lead you." She almost seemed to be smiling when she said that since I've been a leader in so many areas, I just might be a cellgroup leader in the future.
*Shudders* honestly. I've heard a lot of testimony's where people were living their lives happily in one direction, only to have God change their world upside down and go a completely different way, and they've never been happier. So what if one day that happens to me? I'm called to be a leader even though I hate to be one? Honestly, I've seen and known too many people who've listened and have never looked back. I know God's plan is the best one, and that it will be the best if I follow it. I may know it's something I should follow. Whether I have the faith to listen is another matter. Do I really want to give up everything to do something I don't like?
I can say yes now. But whether I actually do go through with it is another thing, when the time comes.
In all honesty, I'm hoping that time will never come.