Heh... just came back from a prayer meeting cellgroup. Quite refreshing, and although I began with it hoping it'd end fast (yes I know, bad thought, yeah yeah) during the praying I found it was too short! LOL. Aiks... I spent the previous night at Henry's place too, where we played Soul Calibur IV and Dynasty Warriors 6. Very fun, and damn hilarious! Especially my Taki's armour. LAWLS!
Okay... anyhoo, yesterday we had school, even though I'm on holidays. It started off decently with painting, but I stained my pants with paint. Zzz. Later on we had design workshop, which is basically Photoshop class. So Irwin is our lecturer and today we needed to show picture references and talk about our ideas for an upcoming project. So Irwin would call out the names in the register, which are alphabetically arranged, while Vivien, the assistent did the same, except starting from the last name and moving up. So when it was finally my turn, Irwin was like "Who is Foo Tze Howe?" Then I said "Oh, over here." He looks back at me and goes "Eh, you ah? Don't want to mark you." I was like what the hell? I laughed in real life, of course, just to cover it, but inside I was really like what the hell? Geez! I was pissed, that he would do that. I mean is he allowed to do that in the first place? MORON! Luckily, I went to Vivien and asked her if she could mark mine. She's like why? Then I told her Irwin refused to mark me, and she's like giving the "what the" look also.
Now you might be wondering why Irwin would do this to me. Well, I didn't mention on my blog posts, but last semester, on my final day of design class, Ruz, Kok Kin and I were late to pass up our assignments because we arrived late. When we entered class, Lily the lecturer was busy scolding the class for a hell lot of things. She's on PMS-mode everyday, so it was no different. However, after her scolding, she said (exact words) "to teach us a lesson" she wouldn't mark the late comers. WHOA! I was worried 'cause without her marking my final assignments, which are worth 20% of my total, I'd fail. I found out later that my friend who came out of the washroom passed up his assignment like 3 seconds after her deadline was refused as well. And he failed too. Of course I wasn't pleased. My mom received a letter from the school claiming I didn't do 2 tests (the assignments) and I told her everything. Uncle Ben (mom's boyfriend) told me to complain. I did that, and to cut a long story short, I was given a second chance. I would redo one of my assignments, and provide a rationale. If I did well, I'd pass the subject (the only thing I failed), but if I didn't do well, I'd fail and have to retake it and only take a few subjects offered in the next semester. Luckily I did well. In fact, I consider that redone assignment the nicest painting I've ever done in my life.
Here's the connection. Whenever Irwin ended his class, Lily would always wait for him. And I always see them enjoying their meals together outside. So I think they're a couple. I have no idea of confirming though. So when I complained, I'm sure Irwin knew about it, and now he's abusing his authority as a lecturer to not mark my work. I'm very worried, 'cause design workshop class is the only class where the assignments are marked without us knowing our marks at all. Only the final project is marked with us knowing, and he can even refuse to mark it. Now that this has happened, how will I know whether my previous assignments were marked? And if Vivien happens to be absent, how am I gonna get him to mark my work? First I had issues with Lily, and now I need to worry about the boyfriend. Geez.
Okay. I'm depressing myself after I began this post with a happy paragraph. Onto happier news! Tomorrow I'm going to Miki's place to celebrate Halloween. I don't really have any costume, so I'll just be dressing up as a Goth. Finally I will really be what people call me all the time. Heh. Anyway, realizing the major lack of pictures in my last few posts, I thought I'd post up a few from our time in Miki's house the other day. Enjoy~
Miki is playing a dress up game with Ruz. Gee whiz. Sounds wrong?
Ruz: Do I look good?
Me: NO! You look GAY!
Now I look gay -.-.
Wee! Howe's gay!
Eee! Miki's heavy -.-
Hey Kok Kin, you need help?
Meh...nevermind, forget it. Triple Kill!
Me: But Ruz, you're still gay. You must pay! Ruz: Wha-!
It is finished. I love this picture =D.
Chronicled 12:55 PM
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Monday, October 27, 2008
I always get tagged for this kinda stuff -.-. Heh... I've done this before, but since I'm in a new environment, I guess new people means new answers too! Tagged by Wai Kwan... so yeah. *Pokes*
1. What is the relationship of you and her/him? My classmate, who's busy hanky-pankying with Leonard in J4 most of the time =x.
2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him? Insane Genius (I know the first 2 don't go together, that's how insane she is) A poking bag! LOL Friendly Caring
3. The most memorable things she/he had done for you. Heh... do all the boring stuff the last time we were partners for communication skills. Yeah, I owe her big time for that.
4. The most memorable things she/he have said to you. Thank you for... (the rest you don't need to know =)).
5. If she/he become your lover, you will.. wonder what Leonard will do to me.
6. If she/he become your enemy, you will... again, wonder what Leonard will do to me -.-.
7. If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on... going out more =p.
8. If she/he become your enemy, the reason is... LEONARD! LOL.
9. The most desirable thing to do on her/him is? Haha... poke her! *Pokes*
10. The overall impression of her/him is.. Poking genius who's pretty much insane at hanky-pankying. What more?
11. How do you think the people around you feel about you? That's a good question. Like I'd know!
12. The character of you for yourself is? Pages of me are nothing like the cover.
13. What do you hate about yourself? Heh... hate that I can ask any girl out easily but have a problem asking the one I like out! Pfft.
14. The most ideal person that you want to be is? The best I can be =D
15. For the people who care about you and like you, say something to them Thanks for caring. I can never repay what you've done =).
Ten people to tag: 1. Tiffany 2. Khar Loo 3. Wai Kwan (just to see what questions I'll needa answer about you =p) 4. Ruz 5. Candice (there you go, tagged! Now you better do it!) 6. Karnex 7. Debbie (you never do this stuff anyway -.-) 8. Gary (He's at army... won't be reading this. I'm running out of names!) 9. Ryan 10. Eleanore
Who is no.2 having a relationship with? No one. She's a pretty nerd =p
No.3 a male or a female? Female. No doubts about that -.-.
If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing? Are lesbian couples a good thing?
How about no.5 and 8? It'd be interesting! Both know each other quite well and are friends.
What is no.1 studying about? Mass Communications right? I kinda forgot, honestly =x.
Is no.4 single? Since he was born -.-. He's got 2 weeks left to get a girl though. *cough*Amelia*cough*
Say something about no.6. Soccer fanatic. For sure.
Okay... I'm off to bed now. Dead tired coming back late, 'cause I just watched Eagle Eye just now. Recommended! Very good and thrilling for an action movie.
I dare you to play this. Even better if you have a microphone and webcam. It's only available to play from 6PM-6AM though, so if you really want to try, just change your computer's clock to a time in between them.
Good luck, and don't scream.
Chronicled 2:15 PM
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Aye... suppose I should make an update now. I purposely didn't update my blog so that whoever chanced upon my blog would see my post on open-mindedness. Yeah... I've been thinking of writing that post for quite a while, 'cause I recently read about a few differences between Singaporeans and Malaysians attitudes. While Singaporeans generally are more quick to criticize, Malaysians tend to be more accepting, but when they criticize, its harsher than Singaporeans. Yeah, I'm a foreigner alright? So I'm neutral! Anyhoo, it reminded me of a few incidents back in the past where random Singaporeans would spout criticisms at me for dressing the way I did. That, plus a recent incident involving a person I call Mr Jealousy inspired me to finally get on with it. There's more I wanted to add, but I think this should suffice for now.
Anyhoo, as you saw in the Ducky pictures, I stayed over in Henry's place last week with the people in the picture. There was Ruz, Kok Kin, Licia, Henry (his house of course) plus me. Mostly playing games and having pillowfights, plus me hugging Ducky! Heh! Oh, we played a drinking game too, I Have Never. It was quite a bore compared to the last time I played it though, because for one thing, almost no one drank except me! Ruz can't since he's Muslim. Henry chooses not to drink. Kok Kin too. Licia is allergic but she drank more than all of them, though she took it easy of course. Plus the truths they revealed were mostly dull... especially Kok Kin's. Geez! Why would I need to know you have a laptop?! Or that you know Lih Ting's full name?! Freak.
This week was the final stuff of quite a few subjects. So naturally it was tiring and very taxing. On Saturday, I was anticipating the holidays so much I didn't paint that well in class. Can't blame me! Anyhoo, although the usual Essence group was supposed to eat together, a few things cropped up. Ruz needed go off for something involving his sister, then Kok Kin wanted to meet his friend, and Wai Kwan and Leonard were off hanky-pankying in J4 (I assume). That left me and Miki to hang out together. Haha, reminded me of Monday, where I spent the entire day with her. Anyhoo, after eating we went to check out Euphoria (KL's Ministry of Sound branch) 'cause she wanted to request car stickers. In the end, one of the staff was friendly enough to give us a small tour of The Deq, but we couldn't check out the main dance arena, 'cause it hadn't opened yet. It's very classy and sophisticated, and very cozy too. We'll definitely check it out soon.
I went for church later and although it was just the usual service, the presence of God during worship was just so great. During "Here In My Life" I just wept. It's been a while that I've had such a tangible presence. Just wonderful. Hmmm... the title for the sermon was Deriving True Satisfaction, and it was quite fitting, considering the tremendous presence that day. Afterward, we went for fellowship with W32 and the conversations were hilarious and fun. Greatly enjoyed my time, plus I made it known I had a tattoo and showed it. Guess there's nothing left for me to hide from the cellgroup anyway?
And today! I just slacked at home all day! Damn nice! But as usual, I was woken up by a nightmare. Pfft. I didn't die this time round though, which is rare... instead I dreamed about something really weird happening in church, and someone else dying. Then I woke up and realized I'm freaking hungry. In fact, these last few days I've been very hungry. Friday night even after I ate outside I was still hungry upon going home and had 4 bowls of rice! I emptied the rice cooker! Then on Saturday even though I ate a nice meal during fellowship, it wasn't very filling. I went home (this was half an hour later mind you) and ate a large bowl of instant noodles. That wasn't enough, and I still proceeded to eat another bowl. Then this morning I had 3 bowls of instant noodles, which wasn't filling. My mom later bought some other kind of noodles and I finished it along with 4 donuts, and I was still hungry.
Yikes! What's going on?
Chronicled 11:16 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008
Heh... I slept with someone the other night.
I slept with Ducky!
That's the group of us who stayed over in Henry's house.
Okay... those pictures were a precursor to a more serious matter. So... when you read that I slept with someone, what were the first things that went through your mind? Knowing me, you probably that it was a joke, or a pun. Or maybe for a second you were fooled. Or, maybe you thought I really slept with someone. Even worse, you criticized me in your head of not being an ideal Christian because I made such a joke. I'd consider you a mood spoiler then.
I thught I'd take this time to talk about something many, many people claim they are: open minded. Usually, when people claim they're open minded, it usually means that they're open to hear things and take another person's perspective in seeing things, while not necessarily being influenced or changed themselves. It usually refers to people you know that aren't narrow minded and conservative (not the political or religious sense).
Okay, now on with it. I know thousands of people, literally thousands. Perhaps more if I bother to count. I have a few hundred friends, in the general sense. I have possibly 100 very good friends. Out of this number, I have many good friends, that I have not bothered to count, because I don't like to segregate my closer friends into different categories. Out of those thousands I know, I think nearly all of them would consider themselves open minded. I know a few who openly don't call themselves open minded, which surprises me 'cause they're narrow minded and don't care. But what surprises me even more is the fact that so many people call themselves open minded when in reality they're not. Heck, it annoys me.
What standard do people use to measure open mindedness anyway? Granted, it is extremely subjective, but I'll be using my own standard of open mindedness, which through experience is generally more or less the usual expectancy of open mindedness. If you think I'm too open minded, then does that not make you less open minded? Anyway, like I said, many people consider themselves open minded, but few actually are. I know many people who say in their Friendster that they're kind, generous, open minded and some even say it face to face (sometimes to me). I see their attitudes and laugh it all in my head.
I've often been asked why I only wear black. Occasionally I wear something other than black and it causes an uproar. Well, for one thing, I like black because its a very practical colour. Ask ANY fashion designer and they'll tell you black is always trendy. That's why they say "something" is the new black, when referring to a new trend. In a sense, its a safe colour and not flashy, which is something I avoid, 'cause I don't like flashy clothes... just a preference. Also, black clothes easily hide stains. I've had 2 incidents where I wore a white shirt, and the second time a blue shirt. Both times, coincidentally, I happened to eat curry. A few drops spilled on the shirts and till now, both of them still have the stains, no matter how many times they've been washed. With a black shirt, I don't need to worry at all, since they won't show up, and no one will know. Plus, black is just my favourite colour, and just as people like to use or wear their favourite things, tell me what's wrong with wearing my favourite colour?
Ah, but so many "open minded" people tell me to change my colours. If you're so open minded as you claim you are, why are you telling me something to suit yourself? I don't mind if its a passing suggestion, but seeing the fervency of me wearing black, they tend to up the ante by having an almost equal fervency in getting me to change colours. Luckily no one has said God would want me to change colours, 'cause I'd go ballistic if I heard that.
Also, these open minded people themselves have issues themselves that I find would disqualify them from being open minded. Again, you say who am I to judge? I'll let you be the judge. You say you're open minded about me going clubbing but you say its not right for me to go clubbing, when I do nothing wrong at all. You tell me you appreciate people's fashion sense to a very liberal degree, but the moment someone wears something you disagree with, you criticize them straight away. You claim to be open minded about different religions, but the moment someone makes a comment about yours, you get extremely easily offended for a trivial matter. Or perhaps on the other side of the spectrum, you claim you respect all religions but you bitch about them at the same time. You make jokes and act so carefree, but the moment you see any hint of subversion, you instantly become Mr Jealousy and become one of the most ridiculous people ever. Okay, I'm being a bit vague here, 'cause everyone I'm mentioning here is based on a real person and they read my blog, or at least have access to my blog and occasionally read it. When? I have no idea. I have to be a little sensitive at least.
Parents too, they often say (or believe) they're open minded. Yeah right, seriously. If you're open minded, you'd let your child go to church if it was their own decision. Yet you take a pot and smash your own child's head. You throw their Bible in the garbage and say the religion is total crock. You rip your child's Bible in half. You burn the Buddhist sutras. Or worse, you kick me (yes, I'm referring to myself) out of your house 'cause you think I'm a gangster who's out to steal things from your house and you lie to me straight to my face and tell your son to lie to me too, which he doesn't. Plus, you think I'm a bad influence too. Open minded? Most Asian parents I know are bloody conservative and narrow minded in all aspects. Compare them to Western parents (majority at least) and you'll wonder why your child wants to go to Western countries.
When I put on eyeliner, wear all my chains and all, its mainly because I like to. I'm not a gothic wannabe, 'cause to be a goth, besides the fashion, you must have a mindset of a goth, which I realize has many similarities to my own opinions, but is downright different on some others. Besides, I'm too lazy to put eyeliner every day, and 'cause I'm tired most of the time, the tendency to rub my eyes would rub away the eyeliner. Often, I see parents react with shock or surprise at my looks. Spiky hair, black shirts, ripped jeans. Seriously, who would want their child to associate with such people? I understand their plight, that they would want their child to mix with good company, but at the same time I can't help but wonder what makes them so narrow minded? Honestly, when I see people to claim they're open minded (majority of the world) and I see outright contradictions of their open mindedness, I laugh in my head. It's priceless to see how they claim one thing but act like completely another. It really opens up my perspective to see what hypocrites they are. It gives me streets smarts too, ya hear me dawg?
But in all honesty, I'm typing this because I'm sick of the narrow mindedness I see around me. Forgive me if it seems like I'm bragging, but I'm one of the most open minded people I know. Sounds arrogant? I can understand. Though if you'd like to challenge this, you can ask any of my friends who know me decently well. They can testify to it. I am very liberal with what people wear, what people do, what people believe in, and even with sensitive issues like terrorists, sex and races, I am open minded. Just because I may not agree on something doesn't mean I don't give the respect due and at least listen and appreciate. That's being open minded, and I think anyone will agree on that. As I said, I don't need to be my own witness. Others can easily testify to my open mindedness. If you claim I'm arrogant in proclaiming something I'm believe is true, then are you not arrogant in making a truth claim that claims the opposite? Think.
I'm just one guy, and a blog post isn't going to change the narrow mindedness of people around me. I realize that the people that are closer to me are the people who are open minded. Granted, they may not be as open minded in some areas, but generally they are in most. So if you're a good friend of mine, consider it almost certain you're open minded according to the usual ideal. It's truly great to have open minded friends and you can talk about anything. Anything. Love lives, parents, religions, sex (even the deep down "kinky" stuff). Nothing is off limits, and that you can talk freely without having to worry about what they think is liberating. It really opens up your perspectives and you learn new things, new opinions. I'm glad that practically all my close friends are open minded. If they were not, we would not be good friends to begin with. Thats not to say people I'm not close with aren't open minded. Regardless... deep, ensuing conversations would not follow and the friendship would not develop and gain depth.
Are you open minded? Let's hope so, for the sake of the world.
Chronicled 11:45 AM
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
Heh... finally got some new books! Being the usual bookworm I am, I bought 3 books at one go.
Firstly, Twilight. I'm very curious to see why so many girls love it, and why Gary told me not to buy the book -.-. I was actually recommended it by Debbie, which bloody surprised me at the time 'cause I never knew she read books at all =x. Besides, the movie is coming out soon, and I usually read the books before watching the movies. Take Harry Potter for example =/. Best of all, its about vampires! Pretty matching for Halloween, and included in the package were vampire bite tattoos. Heh... I like!
Second, I bought The God Delusion, by the high priest of atheism himself, Richard Dawkins. I believe I was the first in GT Zone to actually read through a few parts of it while I wasted time at Popular. I've been wanting to get this book since last year in fact. Suffice to say, I found some counterarguments for his arguments, but others, I agree on certain issues. Now I've got the book myself, I can be the judge. This is the first atheist book I've bought, and considering I'm a Christian, and this book speaks about how religion is unnecessary and unrelevant. Obviously I'll want to check it out. Carl Sagan, Bertrand Russell, Friedrich Nietzsche, nothing I've read from them has altered my beliefs in Christianity. Let's see how well Richard Dawkins does.
And lastly, for some "equality", I bought The Case For Christ, by Christian apologist Lee Strobel. I've heard of this book several times, and I finally got it. But I just realized its the student edition, which isn't as detailed as I'd want -.-. Nevermind, it was still a good read, 'cause I finished it overnight. Been wanting to get this book for 3 years! And when I finally get it, its the not-so-detailed version. Zzz. Nevermind, at least I got The Case For Faith for now.
Interesting choice for me this time round. Storybook, atheist book, Christian book. I think I'll go enjoy The God Delusion now.
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
Chronicled 9:30 PM
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Friday, October 17, 2008
Aye... sorry for such a lack of updates. School's been tiring for the last 2 weeks. Heck, during the first few weeks, we didn't have that much assignments, but in the last 2 weeks, several lecturers spammed us with assignments! Geez! It's like they can't give it to us evenly. Pfft. Okay, nevermind... about time to update, a long post! Let's backtrack all the way back to Hari Raya. I mentioned that I would be going out with a girl, or possibly 2 right? Well, I ended up going out with 3 =/.
Haha... I went out with Cindy, Ervina and Citra. For the first day of Hari Raya, we went to Sunway Pyramid to watch Money No Enough, as well as do their shopping. Yeah, you read that correctly, their shopping. Lmao, I really wonder how girls can go through mountains of clothes and pick out what they like among that huge stack. Plus, it wasn't just one girl, it was three! Cindy was picking out clothes for her performance in the dance/drama the church organized called Dance My Love. Ervina and Citra were picking out clothes because thats what girls do -.-. Heh, after the movie we headed to play bowling. I ended up being the top player! Heh... something was wrong with the machine though. Cindy kept getting extra turns for her play. Freak. I regularly kept hitting 9 pins though, which was quite an achievement 'cause I really played poorly the last time I played. After the bowling session, we went to Asia Cafe to have our late night supper. Then I revealed something I've kept hidden from most people. Nothing you need to know.
Next day we went to Lot 10. They were doing their hair for like 3 hours, so I went late purposely. And I still had to wait close to 2 hours! Aiks. Well, all of them looked prettier with their hair nicely done, so heh, bragging rights when I'm going out with them =p. Headed to Sungei Wang and ate Esquire Kitchen before doing even more shopping than the previous day. Heck. Insane. Even when shops were closing they still tried to pry in and take a look at the stuff they offered -.-. We took the KTM (one of the lines for trains here) and went back.
What happened after that? I've kinda forgotten, seriously. Might as well post some random things I remember.
For our communication skills class, we needed to create an advertisement based on Helen Resor's style, which I previously mentioned used sex appeal and celebrities. So take a look at mine. Obviously, for the celebrity, I used Jolin!
I got 11.5 out of 15 for this. Not bad, second highest in the class, and I did the entire thing 4 hours before the deadline. Plus, I came up with my presentation on the spot! Nothing to brag about -.-. Oh, and since she wants it so badly, credits to Tiffany for helping me with the headline =p.
Oh yeah, CHCKL had their drama Dance My Love last week. I was extremely impressed! It's about this Chinese girl who's a ballet dancer who falls in love with an African hip hop dancer, and about them trying to win a dance competition with a crew, amidst problems. The story is pretty much a mix of Step Up and Save The Last Dance, so it wasn't that original, but it was still great. It was so good in fact, that I went for 3 services straight, 'cause I really enjoyed it. On the final day on Sunday, they actually packed the auditorium so much that people needed to sit on the floors. And there still wasn't enough space! Every single area available was used as a seat. All 3 days had Jia Yang, a youth from Heart of God church, speak about his testimony. We knew a bit about him from Pastor Tan Seow How's sermon, but he gave us plenty of details this time round. Plus, being a handsome guy, all the girls were nuts over him! For the Saturday session, after fellowship, Shaun, Michelle, Elaine, Ken, Ruz and I went to play pool at the Rack. I LOST EVERY SINGLE MATCH! ARGH! And they were bare losses too! All by one ball or both fighting for the 8 ball. Geez.
Anyway, the last few days of school have been nice. Been having very deep talks with Miki and Ruz, but a hell lot of humour with the usual group. Essence anyone? LOL. The other day in figure studies we watched a video of a real dead body being cut up in front of an audience by doctors to show how the muscular system works. They'd cut tendons and sinew and move them around to make other parts of the body move. Damn nice! Dunno why most of the class was sickened =/.
Oh yeah, today, Ruz, Kok Kin, Licia Ivan and I went to Sungei Wang to first of all, accompany me to buy my chains. I accidentally broke my chains in class because it was stuck on a chair and when I stood up the thing fell apart. Also, I bought a new wristband because the old one Karnex gave me was extremely rusted. Bought myself fingerless gloves too. Finally, restocked my chains... and I finally feel like myself again! Been feeling damn empty 'cause I lost my rubber wristband, then I stopped wearing the wristband 'cause it was rusty and smelling really bad, so all I had was my ring and titanium bracelet. Now, finally, I'm me!
I am me.
Chronicled 12:17 PM
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I opened up my drawer to get some clothes, and out of the underwear section, a bloody mosquito flew out! What the hell!
Chronicled 8:30 PM
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What do you do when the girl you like asks you who you like =/?
Keep dancing, my love =D.
Chronicled 12:18 PM
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Friday, October 10, 2008
Dance, my love.
You looked so beautiful today =D.
Chronicled 1:36 PM
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I always create the first bad impression when people first see me. Lawls.
Chronicled 4:50 PM
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Friday, October 3, 2008
Aye... creepy thing just now. Was doing my figure studies just now and I saw a shadow on the ground just now, right beside my door. Thing is, my own shadow falls right in front of me, not diagonally, which is where the shadow formed. Oh, and did I mentioned it bloody moved itself too?!
That's not it. A few days ago, I saw a whitish thing go past my door. The lights outside were off, and obviously no cars will be on the 3rd floor.
Nuisances. Pfft.
Chronicled 5:40 PM
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Tiffany, Ram and I were approached for an interview on our thoughts about Raya the other day, for some online magazine. Ram is the 2nd guy shown on the video. Tiffany is the one who's given 2 seconds to say "its the holidays" -.-. And they used me as the finale guy! Lmao.
Chronicled 2:46 PM
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Thursday, October 2, 2008
I've been single for the last 5 years. It's not for a lack of trying, but bad choices on my part, and failure to really understand what I would be getting into.
A relationship with someone you love is really beyond words. When you make a commitment to be with someone, what are you thinking of for the future of the relationship? Short term relationship? Marriage? So often we make our decisions and choices based on our emotions at the time. Logic never helps, even as much as we'd like to think it does. And if it does, you don't really feel for that person then. Logic and emotion are two opposing forces. Mututally incompatible.
I went home last night feeling on top of the world. It reminded me so much of my time with my girlfriend last time. Having a meal, letting her do all her shopping, and just teasing her, and just keeping the humour and love between you alive. Happily strolling through wherever she wants and helping her make her choices, giving her your opinions. Knowing more and more about each other as you enjoy the day. Top it off with a movie, where there's so much laughs and plenty of tears. The moments when her hand is there just for you to hold it, and the times when her hand touches yours all too often. When you drop your hand against hers and its just left there. But never holding her hands? Ouch.
Just strolling down after the movie, talking about how good it was. Bringing her for supper and sharing so much about your life, your experiences, your hurt, your sorrows. There's almost nothing comparable to knowing the one you love so much, in such a time as this. Pouring your heart out because you trust her. Letting her understand what you're like, what youve been through, what has shaped you. Past hurts, past relationships, and the revelations of things we just can't imagine.
Best of all, you send her home and go back feeling like you've conquered the world.
And I think I better own up to something. I lied. On my August 13, 2008 post, that bottom part describing what I imagined? It's all true. I merely described what happened between me and her. And this post, wasn't my memories. It's what really happened the other day.
I've seen relationships start magically.
I've seen relationships develop supernaturally.
I've also seen relationships end tragically.
Human beings are able to express so much and experience so much. There's something spiritual, even divine, about relationships. Is love all about serotonin and chemicals giving a euphoria to yourself? Science has conceded that it cannot explain why love is just... love. Neither can religions. You cannot explain love. You can say what it does, how it makes you feel, and even Who it is. But you cannot explain it. Its something beautiful. Look at your feelings, and specifically, love, and honestly ask yourself, is there something beyond this? The truth of relationships is this, it's exclusive. To both of you. A spark of attraction, a spiritual connection, two flesh joined as one. Call it what you what. What you can't deny is that only through an experience of the relationship can you know you're doing something beautifully magical, just by loving.