Where will you be my darling? Where will you be when the dark is rising?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Aye, I'm tired.
Actually, I'm quite tired most of the week. Five day work week, averaging 11 hours of work a day? Yeah, I think that can exhaust anyone easily. But then again, that's the art industry. I asked for it (figuratively... I had no idea it was like this till much later). But yeah, aside from tiredness, working life's affected my life quite a lot now.
For one thing, I actually need to start sleeping earlier now. For my entire life I've more or less slept whenever I wanted to, and it was always late. Whether it be reading books, studying, chatting, calling or what, I always had something to make me sleep late. Even in the torturous time in TOA, I still slept late 'cause of all the freaking assignments and staying up just to use the net for whatever reasons. It could always be solved easily by sleeping in class. Or, if I couldn't, then just last the few hours of class and find a place (usually the library) to sleep. Now that I'm working, and spend 11 hours in the office, I can't sleep in the office. Not to mention the stakes are much higher in the workforce, than in school. So I have to force myself to sleep earlier on weekdays. That's not too difficult, thanks to me being tired all the time. 'Cause although I sleep earlier, I still sleep as late as I can, still chatting, or reading, or whatever. I push the limit, although cautiously and carefully. Rarely do I overdo it.
Either way, working life is fine. I mean I'm doing creative work everyday, so its not stale and boring like some typical office job. However, it does get repetitive doing Photoshop and Illustrator stuff everyday. To kill the monotony I go out till late maybe twice or so during the weekdays to hang out with friends, more often with Symposium. It's pretty good as I get social variety differing from the office guys, and some variation in my activities too. Yeah, so it's basically my typical work week. Work 5 days a week with freaking long hours, and hang out till like 2am or 4am with Symposium, or other friends, twice during the workweek.
Nikke said it well, when we hung out till 6am on Saturday about a month ago. The following was copied from her Facebook status.
Epic chilling balls session with the nearly ideal lepak gang. Hunches and sentiments that we felt all along were affirmed and as for the dilemmas plaguing our little symposium circle, we can only hope for the best. Rest well guys, we shall convene in the near future \o/
Yeah. It's really nice to just hang out, chat and share about everything, including the current problems we're having with some people. And it was very interesting when Nikke brought up the topic of me having a crush on her last time, and both of us discussing it so easily and simply.
Of course, besides my friends and groups outside, working life's also severely affected my church life as well. Due to the crazy hours, I haven't attended even one cellgroup meeting since working. Mostly 'cause my working hours are a bit unpredictable. Sure, it's usually 11 hours, but sometimes it drags 'cause of last-minute given job sheets, or finishing up something. And to get the car from my mom and to drive over to the place, by that time they're either finished, or midway eating their supper. I think the cellgroup's in quite a delicate situation now, 'cause I really felt that the cellgroup was getting to know one another much better in recent months, and we were getting to be a lot more comfortable and united. Considering that a while back I felt that everything was on the surface, the way things are getting better had me pretty pleased. But now I'm unable to attend the cellgroup meeting regularly, which cuts off one day that I can meet and fellowship with the cellgroup.
And not to mention that's changing my weekend services too. Since I've become a Christian, I've only been a member of City Harvest Church Singapore, and City Harvest Church Kuala Lumpur. And since I've been a Christian, I've always attended Saturday services, 'cause that's the day all my cellgroups have been assigned to. Even my friends outside of church knew my Saturday afternoons and evenings were off limits because of church. Anything done on Saturday that wasn't church related had to be in the morning or night. And it's been this way for nearly a decade. Yet now my cellgroup goes to Sunday services every week, even though we're officially assigned to Saturday. For a few months, it even came to the point where I'd attend Saturday service and wonder if the cellgroup was coming on Saturday or Sunday. If they were there on Saturday, I'd fellowship with them. If not, I'd join Issey's cellgroup, and he'd drive me home at night. I've been extremely grateful to Issey for this, and due to his subzone combining their fellowships pretty often, I've met a lot of people in their zone, expanding my friend base and knowing more people in church. And I've made quite a lot of good friends this way.
Sure, it's nice to meet and know more people in church, but this isn't quite the setting I imagined. So in recent weeks I've begun to attend Sunday services. Partly its because Symposium hangs out on Saturdays, and I join them, and we have a great time chilling out till late at night. Like 6am for example. But another reason is because I want to bond with the cellgroup. What's the point of us multiplying and being a cellgroup when we aren't even below the surface as a cellgroup, as a whole? As the cellgroup gets closer, slowly, and bonds, I need to be a part of that. There's really no point of me being in the cellgroup if they all bond but I don't, but am a member of the cellgroup officially. That does nothing for the true relations. Nothing for the unity and bonding (at least, on my part). So I attend Sunday services now, but because of all the hanging out late at night, I tend to oversleep and arrive for service late. I've been late for every single service since I've began working. Sure, it could all be solved by sleeping earlier on Saturday, but then my weekend is spoiled. Saturday is the only full day I can proper rest, relax and not worry about anything the next day. If I'm going to sacrifice that, and lose out on some quality time for hanging out, then my weekend isn't much of a time to unwind then, is it? See what working life does? And because of having little sleep on Saturday night, I'm tired and exhausted on Sunday, making me sleepy for the sermons. I lose out in every way. Sure, I get to fellowship with my cellgroup, and it helps in the unity, but a cellgroup meeting is far more bonding in the long run, and I'm missing out on that. But to at least maintain an effort, I still go for Sunday services.
Also, now on Sundays, a few hours after the services, Daniel Chiam's been organizing basketball sessions for the zone. It's fun, it's fruitful and I meet and catch up with a lot of people I normally wouldn't catch up with very regularly. Providing me with exercise and showing me how bad my skills have become after years of absence, it's great and fun. But I get even more exhausted, and when I reach home, when I sleep soon after, it's not enough to recuperate for the next day. I personally need 12 hours of sleep to feel well rested and satisfied. It's not enough, and it hasn't been since I began working, with the exceptions of waking up late on Saturdays.
So yeah. I knew I'd need to adjust when I began working life. All the nagging, reminders, talks and stuff from tons of people I've known have all told me that working life will be different. I knew that, and I braced myself for that. And now I'm going through it. Took me by surprise? No. Making me have no time for a social life? Nope. Making me really, really tired everyday? Yes, and this is going to go on.