And most of the people I know then give themselves a pat on the back comparing themselves to said kids and saying that they were never like that. I have something to say in defense of the new generation.
I've been hearing this crap for quite a number of years already, and it's only made me realize the ignorance of my generation in comparing themselves with the younger generation.
First, let's compare the modern era we are in now, with the previous generation's (i,e, our parents, grandparents). Back in that time, there was no internet, no cell phones, and computers were primitive. Sounds superficial? The internet has changed things to a whole new level. Businesses can be run solely through a website, people with similar interests can find each other, old friends can find each other, calling people has become a huge convenience, and cell phones have saved countless lives in emergencies. Computers have allowed us an entertainment level never before seen, and it allows us to do our work, play games, listen to music and keep pictures and documents. Sure, they can be abused by people gaming too much, and calling too much. But anything can be abused if used to an extreme.
And that's just technology. People are saying that now kids are superficial, materialistic, complicated, and that things were better back then. Seriously? We had two world wars, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War and the Cold War within our grandparents and parents lifetime. These were a much larger scale than the wars we have today (excluding the Cold War). WWII alone is the deadliest conflict in all of human history. People lived with a fear of global nuclear war. Living conditions, while not horrible, weren't as comfortable as today (aircon and all). Many children were not literate and many also had no formal education. You think racism is bad in Malaysia? It was a lot worse back then, with mobs lynching (Google that, if you don't know what it means) people purely for race. The Ku Klux Klan had the biggest membership in their time. Blacks in America had no equal rights in their time. Heck, women could not vote in most countries back then. You take all this equality we have now for granted. It was a big struggle to get people equalized.
Oh, you say, what about the kids attitudes then? Humans aren't perfect. Far from it. Every generation will have a new set of problems. Our grandparents and parents generations problems have largely been solved or made convenient by our time, and for the generation after us, they have their own set of problems, based on their worldview. I hear constantly that kids today are spoiled, that they have iPads, iPhones, laptops, cellphones and all that, while we didn't. Our parents said the exact same thing about our generation. Excuse me, have you forgotten about the Game Boy? Game Gear? Playstation? Super Nintendo? To our parents, these were the "iPads and iPhones" of their generation. Those kinds of consoles were unheard of in their time. And for us, the iPads and iPhones are on a whole new level. We blast kids now, just as our parents did to us back then.
Then there's people saying "What's wrong with kids nowadays" when they see secondary school kids kissing, having sex and all. You think this stuff didn't happen before? Back in our parents time? Oh please. Heck, in our generation secondary school kids kissing was no big deal already. Sex was hush-hush, but no doubt it was already widespread, even if there was a lack of reporting. And we criticize them today for making out? We were just like them. The only stupid thing they did was record them, post them on the internet, and have news outlets report on them. There's an abundance of cell phones with cameras now. You're going to surely get a few idiots who are stupid enough to record themselves and unleash it to the internet. We are living in a world where news goes all over the world in seconds. Of course we're going to hear more cases. And unfairly, we think its happening more and more, simply because we see it reported more and more. If news was so efficient back in our grandparents and parents time... well, the conclusion is easy to guess.
In general, people are getting wealthier. They can afford more. Naturally you'll buy toys for your kids. People of my generation say "I never had an iPad as a kid". Yeah genius, because it didn't exist back then. If it had, you might just have gotten it. Your Game Boy/Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis was the equivalent. I know some people are going to bring up the case of kids blasting their parents on Twitter and Facebook for not getting them iPads and iPhones. But look carefully, there's 7 billion people in the world. These whining kids are not the majority. They're just some whiny kids who have gotten media attention. And that's only because these kids have social networks. They can express more, whenever they want, at their age. There are adults who get fired because they bitch about their company on Facebook. You think immature kids won't do more damage? I'm sure you said a lot of stupid stuff back when you were a kid. If you had Twitter in that time, you might just have tweeted about it in the spur of the moment. And don't forget, these are kids. We as kids also whined when we didn't get our toys. I'm sure we were pissed off at that age, resenting our parents on the car ride home, and maybe a few hours more after that. What if you could tweet about it in the car, when you were still a kid? You just might have. Kids express themselves all the time, be it throwing tantrums if they don't get their toy, running around the aisle like a maniac or for some of the new generation, tweeting of their anger towards their parents. And because so many of us have Twitter and Facebook now, and because everything can spread so easily, things like this are easily found, spread, and used as an example of kids "nowadays".
My second-last point is on kids being stupid nowadays. I hardly think this is fair, simply because you're comparing yourself to kids! When you were that age, you weren't very bright yourself. You think you were smarter? Well look at the statistics of the IQ of children worldwide. It's gradually increasing every year. Look up the scientific studies if you don't believe me. Sure, you're smarter than many kids here and there, and you might just have been in their age, but as a whole, the kids IQs are getting higher. This perception of them being stupid is simply because of their age. We learn more every year, and we have a 10-20 year headstart on them. Of course you feel smarter. You're most likely somewhere in your 20s. You've more or less matured properly. Let these "kids" reach their 20s, and then you can compare properly with your 20s self. Unfortunately, you'll most likely think you're still smarter or better, because we always assume the worst of others when compared to us or our time. There's a memory theory called "reconsolidation" that shows our memories aren't fixed and static, but rather altered by our perceptions and media over time. This is why every generation thinks theirs was the best and talk blindly on "the good old days". Our minds keep all the good memories and don't focus so much on the bad ones. I'm sure your grandparents have said something alone those lines before, and so have your parents. And now you say it to the the ones after us.
Lastly, on kids having no respect. This is subjective. Respect is taught and earned. If kids have no respect, you only have their educators to blame. This includes, parents, teachers and other various authorities. Wait till they've hit the 20s, then, and only then can you fairly judge their respect. Most of the younger generations are around their teen age. It's the age when they're aloof, rebellious, easily bored. I remember in secondary a lot of school friends would always say they'd go to relatives places on Chinese New Year and sit there and be bored. This attitude changed as they grew up. There's a reason why teens are stereotyped that way. Because, to a certain extent, they are like that. Plus, you think we're much better? Chinese New Year is now about meeting relatives and seeing how much angpao money you get. The amounts we get are insane compared our parents. We get angpaos ranging from 30s to hundreds. And we talk about how little or how much a certain someone gave and compare it with one another. Wanna compare that to our parents generation? We seem like spoiled little kids in their eyes, when they received usually single digit amounts, or even cents.
Every generation says that we have improved from the last generation, calling them traditional, old-fashioned and outdated, and that the one after ours is taking things for granted, spoiled, stupid, or whatever castigating word you want to use. Think about it, how many times have your parents said something like "Back in my time..."? I think our parents had quite a bit of that from their parents as as well. And now we say it to the generation after ours. It's a cycle that repeats. Our parents had no idea why we liked Pokemon, Digimon, Dragonball Z, and that stuff. Neither do we understand why Ben 10 is such a big hit today.
I'm sure that the generation after ours will criticize the ones after them, in time to come. I guarantee it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
New Years Resolutions.
They are so common and so failed. Every year I hear people making resolutions and 90% (okay... 99% seems more realistic) of them fail. I myself don't take resolutions seriously, and mostly only for fun. The resolutions I make are carefully thought out most of the times, but I've never been really serious in fulfilling them. When I do, however, I'm quite pleased, but they're not really a priority. It's just something to keep in mind, and a nice aim, but not a necessity.
I do have two resolutions this year though, and as with all years, take it with a punch of salt. Uh, I mean pinch. That was an actual typo I kept because it just got me laughing. Lmao. Anyway, since it's only two, I'll go into details on them.
1) Blog at least once a week.
I'm quite proud of being a blogger that has lasted so many years. My blogging is not a matter of trying to entertain people as celebrity bloggers do, and I have no actual contracts that force me to blog. I blog when I want, and when I can. Although in the last few years it's slowed down quite a bit, I still blog. And when I see that all my friend's blogs are dead, it gives me a sense of satisfaction as well.
However, that's not the main point. Previously my blog was opened just because everyone else did it. I went along with the hype. Then it became a place to type in all my daily events, which I still do. It also became a place where I could rant, explode, question, answer and put funny stuff. I did the same with friends, but blogging is your own words, typed in that time frame and mindset. It's very amusing to read back on old entries and see what you were like. And pretty often, how much you've changed. I read back some old entries and I realized that I was a horrible Christian in my very early times. Heck, I was still a Creationist that time, that's 'nuff said. I had a severe lack of knowledge as compared to now, and I was immature in several aspects. All that has changed now. Perhaps 10 years from now, I will read about my current self and laugh again.
So now I see blogging as a place to store my memories. A place to store my views, opinions, happenings, events. As a reader of many apologetic and atheistic works, the historical veracity and accuracy of the Bible is something that always comes up. I realize how important it is to have accurate, verifiable (to a certain extent), and true posts. All my posts involving my daily life are true. Never have I lied in this blog. I might make some mistakes, such as calculating the score of a basketball game wrong by maybe a point or so, or mess up a person's name I met that day itself, but I have never made a post to deceive, without saying it was for that intent later (and they're always for humours sake). If I have successes, I write them down. If I fail at something, I also write them down. I have never shied away when I had lost, or when I felt really pathetic at certain things.
Also, I have arguments with friends, events and discussions which I bring up here, and later on it serves as a very useful tool in finding the accurate date or place something happened. Several times I've had discussions with friends only to mention something we forgot before, and I'd find out on my blog later on the details. Very useful. And also very useful is when you keep arguments and what people have said, and you make them eat their own words when they deny they said something. MSN chat logs? Facebook chats? Email correspondence? All kept. For sentimental value, sure. But also as a record for accuracy on what they said before. And as a weapon to blast them with if they should deny it in the future. Same goes with my blog.
I don't have phobias and the such, of normal or strange things. Not scared of heights, blood, clowns, balloons or peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth, a fear of the number 666 or a fear of Friday the 13th's. But I do have worries. I worry about if I ever have a child, if he/she will end up like my sister. I worry that when my parents grow old I need to support them, and how shall I do it while living within my means. These are minor and at the back of my head at this time, but they will be major issues in the future. But there are things I worry about now as well. Chief among them is a worry of
—well, I guess fear is a better word here
—losing my memories. I have said it many times. Imagine if I lost my memory. What would I forget? What if I forget who I am? What if I forget all the skills and knowledge I've learned so much in recent years? What if I forget my parents, friends and God? There's no guarantee that I will re-learn everything again. That I will become the same person I am now. What if I take a different route in life, and end up somewhere or as someone who I currently would not want to be? That my personality completely changes into somebody that I dread to be?
Blogging would at least keep my memories, my viewpoints, and many little things in life that you just don't remember at the top of your head. Plus, reading it later on might just remind me of something that happened long ago, and provide entertainment. Or it might remind me of a friend I have not seen in ages, and to propose a meet up. Little things. All from my blog.
Plus, I still have friends reading my blog. Surprisingly it still numbers in the 20s on average. I am honoured that people would take the time off to read about my life and views. I can entertain them to an extent, perhaps teach something, and at least give them something to read. All the while storing my own record.
2) Get attached.
I want a girlfriend, simple as that. Lol.
I have been single for 9 years already. And apparently it shocks many people. Ha, I guess I should feel pretty pleased with myself that people find it awkward I'm not attached, and haven't been for so long. It's something that people ask and comment all the time. "How come he's still single?", "When are you going to get attached?", "I thought you're not a virgin already." and stuff like that. Very funny and amusing, but also a constant reminder that I'm still single. Well, can't really blame me (sort of). I moved away from Khar Loo. Tiffany had a boyfriend. Cindy brought Chee Meng along. Kai Yih had a boyfriend without telling me. Shana moved to the US. Sze Ying is still unresolved. Jerrine moved to the UK. Geez.
However, I'm not desperate for a girlfriend. It's not like I'll die not being attached (I've already been single 9 years), but I'm working, I've got finances, and I can manage my time pretty well. I think I'm ready, as I have been thinking for many, many years already. It's just I'm not hard up for it to the extent I'll actively chase somebody and woo her, buy her gifts and stuff. Nah, it'll be more like flirt here, flirt there... if there's chemistry, and we're both attracted, I'll work on it. If not, it doesn't matter.
I remember I once blogged, or typed somewhere the list of qualities in a girlfriend I would like. I found it in my older entry... July 3, 2007.
She must be: Caring, a Christian, empathetic, physical (like doesn't mind holding hands in public), someone I love (duh).
She cannot: smoke, take drugs (HA), be a retard, be stingy, be stuck up, be 4 years older than me, be 5 years younger than me, be 5cm+ taller than me (that'd just be embarassing).
Preferably: Long hair (don't know, I just find they look better), same church, shorter than me, pretty, decent education, independant yet dependant at times, able to teach me what she loves (I like to learn new things).
I don't know how the hell I misspelled dependent. Geez. Anyway, I suppose I've gotten more picky, because that old list seems a bit general. Quite a lot of things still stand though, but I think there's a lot of other things I consider deal-breakers. I shall follow it's style, and update it. And I shall elaborate below.
She must be: Physical, intelligent, funny, caring, empathetic, open-minded, liberal (does not apply to theology though), outgoing, able to drink alcohol, able to hang out and chill, tell me about my faults, logical (but it's a woman, so this is a bit subjective), be able to hang out with my friends, compromising on important matters (it is inevitable on certain matters), be able to take constructive criticism.
She cannot: smoke, take drugs, be a retard (like not knowing who Hitler is), be stingy to an extreme extent, be above 10 years older than me, be below 10 years younger than me, be 5cm and above taller than me, be an extreme introvert, be unable to hang out with my friends, be polyamorous, be conservative, narrow-minded, blindly believe a belief system with no evidence, superstitious, be an annoying whiner.
Preferably: Long hair, a Christian, same church, shorter than me, witty, pretty, able to dress well, likes the same music I do, able to help me learn new things (activities and academically), not sexually active before marriage, a reader, a gamer, well-versed in literature, a heavy drinker, supportive, carefree, wears miniskirts or hot shorts, be able to play sports.
Uh huh... definitely quite a few more points than before. Sure, it's picky, but there's many reasons why I've become more picky. And I'll explain them in the elaborations.
She must be physical. Because if I have a girlfriend, it's someone I want to hold, touch and all. Physical touch may not be her primary love language, but to at least reciprocate and enjoy it is very important to me. I can't imagine a relationship where we're together and we don't touch each other at all in any way. Neither do I want someone who's ashamed to hold hands in public. She must be intelligent, because I cannot stand stupid people, what more my girlfriend. I don't expect her to be an Einstein, but I do expect her to have basic common sense and knowledge in many things, which I understand is subjective, but most people have a general idea of a "smart" person, and I want her to be that. Caring, empathetic and outgoing are basic traits and need no explanation. Able to drink alcohol. I'm not saying she has to be a guzzler of alcohol. I just want her to be able to drink, and hold her own liquor. Drinking has become a very important social activity, and I would be hard-pressed if she would not join in on the fun. Plus its a major activity with tons of friends, and it'll leave her out if she doesn't drink. And if I drink, what's she going to do? Sit there and do nothing? Able to hang out and chill because there was once a girl who liked me but was basically a slave to her parents and wasn't able to go out. I love going out and hanging out. If she can't do that? Then what can I do? Go to her house everyday? Not go on dates? What's that going to lead to? I don't expect her to go out every single night, but at least be a chilling person to hang out outside at times (frequent times, I hope), and with my friends, as they are a big part of my life. I want her to tell me about my faults, because I've seen many relationships where one side has an issue but can't or doesn't want to bring it up to the other half. And thus it causes problems. I don't want that. I want her to tell me my faults, so I know what I do wrong, and how I can change. It's better for me, and it'll be better for the relationship. She must be able to accept this as well from me, and so I want her to be able to handle it. She must also be liberal because I myself am very liberal, and if she was conservative, it'd lead to many, many problems, some of which would have extremely dire consequences in the dynamics of friends, mindsets and such. I also want her to keep an open mind. Basically, someone who knows how to have fun, and doesn't take herself too seriously.
She cannot smoke or take drugs. I am surrounded by smokers daily, and I can't stand the smell. Worse still that the person I want to be with smokes as well. Kissing a mouth like that is going to be bad-tasting for me. Not to mention she'd smell like tobacco. I do not want a girl who smokes. Smoked prior? Fine. Smoked a stick before? Okay. So long she has quit. If she continues to smoke while with me? No thanks. I don't have a problem with smokers. I just don't want my girlfriend to smoke. Drugs for obvious reasons. I don't want an addict who spends all her money to get high and possibly overdose and die. Be a retard because like I said I can't stand unintelligent people. Being with someone constantly, who doesn't even know who Hitler is would severely limit many topics, and drive me insane due to the lack of common knowledge. Yes, there are many people like this in the world, and I can socialize with them very well. However, I do not want my girlfriend to be among them. Be stingy to an extreme extent because I want someone who is capable of generosity. I understand that some people are more open with their money and some less, so I understand if she's a bit more cautious with her money. But to an extreme extent is something bloody hard to change in a person and that would show a lack of generosity, a trait I would like her to have. Cannot be above 10 years older or 10 years younger than me. I changed the age limit because Sze Ying was 5 years older than me, and I liked her, wanting to get together. I put it at 10+ and 10- because that seems like a generous age gap to have. Anything higher than 10+ and I'm quite possibly getting together with someone who's in their midlife, a decade away from menopause. Way too old. And anything younger than 10+ would seem very pedophile-ish to me. That's the limit. Be 5cm taller than me. I state this because I don't want a girl who I need to look up at, and even worse if she wears high heels. I'm not a very tall guy, and most girls don't want someone shorter than them anyway, so for ego sakes and what most girls want, I don't want a taller girlfriend, although this borders on preference. She cannot be polyamorous. I state this because I have a polyamorous friend, and although I know about the many benefits of polyamory, and their rights to love and all, I myself am not polyamorous. Just as I am not gay and won't get into a relationship with a guy, even though I respect gay people and their right to get attached with the same gender, I am not polyamorous and so would not want my girlfriend to be one. Because I would not love another in a relationship with her. It would not be true polyamory anyway, even if I allowed a third person into the relationship. She cannot be narrow-minded because I HATE that, and do not want the person I am with to have a mindset like that. Changing it will be near-impossible so I would just skip her instead, and same goes for being conservative, except theologically. I also don't want her to believe in any faith, religion, or atheism blindly. There are dumb people of religious sides and atheistic sides who blindly accept anything that agrees with their notion, which they themselves have barely looked through. Aside of being unable to have proper dialogue when it comes to sensitive subjects, it shows a stuck up mind that won't change as well, and this applies to superstition. Lastly, I do not want her to be a whiner. I can't stand whining. Bring up a problem. Talk about a situation. Yell or scream if it deserves it. Do not whine.
I would want a girl who preferably has long hair. I don't know, I just seem to be attracted to girl's with long hair. Not to say I haven't liked girls with short hair before (Joreen would be a good example, and Soo Wen, and Ho Ching). Preferable shorter than me for the reasons stated above. Preferably pretty because, hey, who doesn't want their girlfriend to be pretty? I would also hope that she's witty because I love that in a girl, and it apparently is a bit rare in Malaysian girls, or at least the ones I've met. I can just imagine the banter... Okay, on with the elaborations. Likes the same music I do, because I have a huge variety of music I like, ranging from metal to Mozart. However, metal is a slightly higher preference, and I would hope that my girlfriend could enjoy that too. Help me learn new things because I like to try out new things, new challenges and dares. If she can introduce me to something she likes, I'm all for it if I can learn something out of it. Also I'd love it if she could teach me something I don't know. Unless it turns to highly specialized topics such as metal, anime or cooking, generally I am the one who shares new things and information with other people. Science, religion, literature, history, geology, space, IT, world affairs, politics... let's just say its a wide spectrum, and I arrogantly can claim that I know a lot more than most people. But there are many things I still do not know as well, and if she can teach me, I would gladly learn. A reader and well-versed in literature because as I love reading, I hope she does too, and I can know more books and stuff from her. Supportive and carefree are basic things. A heavy drinker because, well, I am too, and I'd like to see my girlfriend drink well, I assume it would make things more fun. Be able to play sports because even though my basketball sessions are bloody irregular and much, much less frequent, I'd hope she'd play instead of sitting and watching. I once played basketball with Zhi Xuan as my teammate. We faced off against the couple Adrian and Li Hui, plus Alvin Lim along with them. Needless to say we were horribly trashed, but it was fun. Wears miniskirts and hot shorts. Like I said, these are preferences. I like hot legs, more so than most parts of the body, so this is just a bonus. That attire gets my attention easily, and naturally I'd like it if my girlfriend could wear what I find visually pleasing.
Lastly, the more controversial issues. Sexually active and Christian. I am still a virgin. Thankfully. Even though most guys would not agree. Haha. That's fine. I choose to remain one for religious reasons. As a devout Christian, this is one of the harder things to keep, and it's tempting at times to let loose if there's a chance. So far, I have not had sex, and I want to keep it that way till I am married. For me, it doesn't matter whether my girlfriend is a virgin or not. Doesn't affect me. Past sexual histories are just something I may be curious about, and perhaps a bit of information on her past, but not something to judge her by. If she is adamant on remaining sexually active, I need to worry. I can reject all I want, but what if I get seduced? By my own girlfriend of all people? I assume she'll know what makes me click, and know how to use that, if she's sneaky. Sure, you can say that then she doesn't respect my wishes and pledges, but the same stigma doesn't apply to guys, so nor shall I apply it to girls as well. She may well take sex a lot more lightly than I do. Of course, this is all assumptions, and as I said, preferences. Same church for obvious reasons, as we can attend services together and go out with the cellgroups and church members. Plus we'll share more or less similar religious values and thinking towards the church, so it'll be a lot easier than being with an atheist who thinks its all crap. And of course, to be a Christian. This is the more interesting ones, as I moved it from a must, to a preferable. One reason is that I get more liberal as years go by, and I suppose this affects my religious leanings. Secondly, I am finding it harder to find an open-minded Christian girl who's intelligent and liberal, yet knowledgeable. I know a lot of liberal Christians in church. The vast majority aren't smart. However, I seem to be meeting a lot of smart, liberal, intelligent and attractive girls outside of church, and most of them aren't Christians. Very frustrating -.-. However I want a Christian girlfriend, so that we can complement each other spiritually, that she can understand properly of why I believe, go to church, give to the church, and other things that people outside of church at flat out not going to understand, even if they try. And if I get an atheistic or non-believing girlfriend? What if I explain my reasons for believing (which all my friends do not question anymore after hearing the evidence) and she chooses not to believe? Is that ignorance (which I severely hate) on her part? Sure, I can respect her lack of belief. But that will lead to questions on other things which aren't so easily phased with "respect". Plus, let's say we have children, how are we going to raise them? With two extreme polar opposites in beliefs? If it ever goes that far, I know there's a certain level of compromise. It's just, how far? So I still want a Christian girlfriend, despite it being a longshot, with the qualities I want. Although its not a must as it was a few years back, it's still a very major thing, and borders and dealbreaker.
Well... that was a really long post. To make up for my lack of posts. Anyway, you know what's the worst part? Most people don't end up with someone who fits their list anyway. Lol. Dang.
Fallen
2:29 AM
in the grip of darkness
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
So, at last, it's finally a new year. Time seems to fly. In just 4 months it'll have been one year since I graduated and amazingly succeeded with the Spire85 campaign with my batch. But so much has happened as well in this one year. Lots of things tested friendships this year, and I'm glad everything has gone well. It was a big transition to go from college life to working life as well. Not as dramatic as a lot of people made it seem, but it was definitely a huge time for adjustments.
What do I remember from 2011 at the top of my head?
Graduated from The One Academy, the torturous college, with Spire85 as a very proud achievement.
Got a job at Creative Thumbprint. I learned a lot, although I was dissatisfied after a few months. Resigned after half a year.
Got a job at Canvas Art, thanks to Fei Yan. Still here and enjoying it more.
Meeting up with Sze Ying, and still having our status unresolved.
Developing dermatographic urticaria aka dermatographia. I don't know how the hell I got it but apparently from what I've read 4% of the world population has it. It's become a great conversation starter and topic, but it's an annoying thing when you're absent-mindedly scratching yourself and it gets itchier later on.
Paternal grandfather passed away. I now have no grandfathers left, and only my paternal grandmother remains as the sole living grandparent.
Jerrine moved to England. The one girl this year that I found attractive, smart and very easy to talk to, moved. To. Freaking. England. She was the only real person I was considering making a move on, out of all the people I met this year.
Along with Justin, confronting Miki about her extreme lying habits, her lies and our friendship. This was solved, thankfully, at the risk of losing the friendship altogether if things went wrong. This was perhaps one of the most testing moments for friendship this year.
Along with Justin once again, confronting and telling Redzuan about Masayo cheating on him. It was a bloody painful thing to do, but it was the right thing. My heart hurt like hell when telling him.
Met Masayo. Funny how one symposium with Symposium ended up with us meeting her, and her eventual relationship with Redzuan. She caused much drama to the entire Symposium, pissing off nearly everyone at some point in the year, with Nikke as a specific target. The cheating on Redzuan was the last straw, and we finally severed all ties with her. She caused a near-breakdown in certain ways, and occasionally bitches about us on Facebook, while spreading her heavily modified lie of the whole situation to her friends. Despite this, it bonded Symposium in a very, strong way. And she's in a worse position than ever before.
Switched to Sunday services for church. After close to a decade of attending Saturday services, suddenly I'm attending Sunday services. I'm still not used to it and I'm late almost every weekend. Still, its the only time to meet my cellgroup.
Both my churches moved to their new buildings. City Harvest Church KL moved into the new building in mid-2011. After so many years of sowing into the building fund, at last, we moved to our new building. And I'm bloody proud of it. Part of that building was paid for by me in addition to some chairs that I helped manually make. In addition, City Harvest Church Singapore moved into Suntec City as well, finally leaving Expo after half a decade there. Part of the move was also paid by me, and I am extremely proud to have contributed to it. Serves as a great success story, especially after the whole CHC SG scandal last year. God has been faithful.
Got freaking stranded by my cellgroup, because no one could bother dropping me off 5 minutes away, but could drive me 20 minutes away in the opposite direction because they were headed in that direction. Since that day I haven't bothered with the cellgroup providing transport, since they can't be bothered. I borrow the car. If not, I don't bother attending. No point attending and then getting stranded.
Fixed a busted car tyre twice. Once for the Hyundai Accent, and second with the Mercedes C-class. A new skill I learnt which is very practical.
Ryan and Faidhi and Mahdi left Forsake Me Not. Harish and Christian joined in their stead. We also played in Festival of the Tritone 2, which was a great success, albeit smaller in scale, but much more personal and fun.
Went for Eyes Set to Kill gig in Kuala Lumpur. I have supported them since I first heard them, way before they were famous and it's great to see them in such great success. And to finally attend their gig live. Impressed in every way!
Went for MTV World Stage thanks to Wai Kwan having a spare, free ticket. Enjoyed the performances greatly!
Arranged monthly meet ups with Essenism. After finishing college, my times spent sleeping in the library and waiting for a phone call or someone to invite me for lunch and stuff ended. Meeting up with Essenism regularly was superbly easily in college. Most of us would have no classes at a certain hour and we'd meet up almost everyday to eat or hang out. Now that Wai Kwan and I have begun working, arranging a meet up is much harder. Wai Kwan's tired after work on weekdays, and I can't borrow the car as easily on weekdays, making weekends the only time to meet up. So I proposed that we meet up once a month, so that the friendships wouldn't fade. Although keeping the once a month thing is still lagging, we still meet up regularly at least, which maintains the effort. And that's keeping things good.
Met my dad in KL for the first time in my life. And a few times during the year. Half of Symposium met him, thus, meeting all my parents that I currently have, with the exception of my dad's girlfriend, who I just consider a parent by "default" only because she's with him,. I haven't met her yet.
Visited Singapore/Johor Bahru for the first and only time in 2011. It was really nice to meet up with all the friends and hang out. Due to the working life, I'll not be able to go down every holiday as I did in college times. Now I need to carefully combine leave with public holidays to maximize the time I have to go to Singapore.
Had a Symposium trip to Genting, and stayed in Amber Court, just to prove it wasn't haunted. We did a documentary and took many photos. It was a great trip, despite Masayo's constant nagging and slip-up of her affair
These are the things that I remember off the top of my head. I realized I was a horrible blogger in 2011, lol. Not for my posts, but due to the lack of them. I just got lazy. Blogging as a hype as died down, and I'm one of the few bloggers among my group of friends who still maintains their blogs. Compare that to the group of friends I had in secondary school who all started their blogs a few days before I did. It was a big thing that time, and we'd all read one another's blogs. Then over the years they all died, except for mine. And mine's really slow on updates. Partially it's because I'm lazy. Coming back from work, I'm tired, and I read articles and books and go on some funny websites. After this time of unwinding, I'm lazy to blog already, or it's already very late. I don't count blogging as unwinding. It's work; an effort. I need to make the effort to get my thoughts into words, type them all out and do a very casual overview of it and post it. I'd rather enjoy and relax than "work" again after work, so blogging on weekdays is rare, unless I make the effort for some reason. Then on weekends it's the only time to unwind and go out and hang out, especially at night, so I don't get to blog 'cause the time I reach home I'll sleep, or read a bit before sleeping. Hence, the rarity of my posts.
2011 wasn't the most fun year. It tested me on many grounds. Granted, there was much fun, laughter and joy. I met tons of new friends, and had a lot of fun days. But there were many issues and friendships put to the test, and they were not fun at all, despite coming out of it stronger. But 2011 was without a doubt one hell of an interesting year that I enjoyed tremendously. There's a saying in my church(es) at the beginning of every year: "May this year be the best one yet". So far it's followed this pretty well. Best years don't necessarily have to be all fun and games with no hardships. On the contrary, I think they add on to what makes it better.
Fallen
12:10 AM
in the grip of darkness
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Where do I even begin?
So much has happened in the last few weeks.
I'm probably never going to update what I said I would update, so I might as well give a brief summary of what I typed in last time... let's see... on September 29 I wrote "Singapore, Festival of the Tritone, Tyranny of the Eight, Miki, broken hard disk, James' birthday, Khar Loo, Essenism, tarot cards, Kai Yih, Caffeines, work."
Singapore... I went to Singapore for the first time in 2011. Had a great time catching up with the Magic Gang, Debbie, E458 and E507, and a lot of other church members. Koh Wee booked a chalet that's only reserved for army personnel, so we had a huge chalet, huge LCD TV (and he brought his PS3), and couches that were unbelievably comfortable. Magic Gang came over and it was like we were all back in secondary school again, just older, and with smokers in the mix now. Lol. There's a lot I can't remember... don't know why.
Festival of the Tritone. Number 2. Justin organized it, and we had 4 bands. Justin's band, Sacwrath, my band Forsake Me Not, Asri's band Kolbenfaust and lastly, the invited band Unexpected Mercy. Unexpected Mercy was the biggest out of all of us, but let's just say they weren't professional in timing. It was great fun though, and I enjoyed it tremendously. I was the one who designed the poster/flyer too.
Tyranny of the Eight. Maosun, Masayo's band, and Kolbenfaust are both signed to TFHM Records. They organized a gig and we went to support. The place was a gorgeous place perfectly suited for metal gigs, and it was great to see plenty of local bands.
Miki. She called me at 4am one night and I was wondering what the hell was going on. She ran off from home due to some issue I shall not disclose here. Let's just say I am pissed off with her dad. I drove over to her place, brought her back to mine, talked a bit and stuff, and slept and went to work like a zombie the next day. I realize my home is like a refugee house. Ran away from home? Can't stand your parents? Need a place to stay? Want a place to drink with no consequences? Come to my house! LOL. Anyway, she was well taken cared by my mom, and Miki's mom was tearfully grateful to me. No worries.
Broken hard disk. While Redzuan was transferring stuff to me, he accidentally dropped my hard disk from table-height. Needless to say my hard disk DIED and everything inside was lost. Thankfully most of the stuff was already in my laptop, but some pictures were gone forever, such as the Penang trip photos, and several others. Games and movies I didn't keep on my laptop could be downloaded and taken from others at any time, so it didn't concern me too much. Took the stupid company a month and a half to give me my warranty-guaranteed free replacement though. Zzz.
James' birthday. We celebrated! With alcohol. He puked, and made noodles with his puke. I'm not kidding. It looked like a local dish called Wat Tan Hor (I don't know the spelling). Yuck. But job well done.
Khar Loo. No drama here. Just reminded myself and shared the story with a few others. We still haven't spoken since the final email.
Essenism. We finally caught up after so long! We spent more or less the entire day chilling out, watching a movie, playing in the arcade and stuff from early afternoon all the way to night. Great, great time spent with them, especially after so long.
Tarot cards. Justin and I know a person who went to a Taoist tarot card reader who seems to be full of crap, but otherwise convinced this person we know that he had true powers/skills/charlatanism. We went to disprove and expose this guy, but we couldn't, because we hadn't made an appointment, and he had a full schedule. LOL. Craps. Was hoping to be James Randi during that time. Zzz.
Kai Yih. I caught up with her after a long time. She was expelled from Nottingham University due to failing a resit paper so I had to help out with her appeals and admissions to other universities. We're just friends, as it has always been.
Caffeinees. Been going there a lot more than usual in the last few weeks. They'ved moved, and the place is still as awesome (and expensive) as ever. However I love the atmosphere and the food, and with Symposium there its the icing on the cake.
Work. Work. Work. Need I say more?
Fallen
10:34 PM
in the grip of darkness
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
My heart hurts like hell. But we did what was right.
Fallen
2:41 AM
in the grip of darkness
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Oh God, I'm getting so sick of my nightmares.
Fallen
11:22 AM
in the grip of darkness
Friday, October 28, 2011
So, recently my cellgroup pissed me off. Yeah. My cellgroup. W19. Yes, you. I'm not even going to bother to hide it here.
It has been a very, very long time since I have been unhappy with my cellgroup. The last time was back in 2007 with E458, and things turned out for the better after much trouble and confrontation (and anger on my part). From the time that things went great for E458 and up until now I have been pleased with the cellgroup I've been in. Until the recent months. Now it's not unhappiness in the recent months, but some points to note and how it doesn't help this situation.
Last Sunday I went for service. My mom needed the car so it was the first Sunday in quite some time I didn't get to borrow the car. Thankfully, Justin allowed me to stay in his place, and drove me over to church on Sunday morning. It was the weekend Jayesslee was coming to the service, and they performed wonderfully, but they aren't the focus of this post. After service, we went to eat at Piccadilly. As Ai Lee has moved to Kelana Jaya now, that means I'm the only person living in Cheras now, in the cellgroup. I'm the only Cherasian, and I have no car. At least the Sunway people live really near the church, and thus no one has a problem picking them up and dropping them off. The rest who live slightly further (but none are far as me) have their cars. Anyhoo, after eating, and having a discussion on what the cellgroup should do for Deepavali, it was time to go home. Now, my mom was in Malacca, and I had no car. So I couldn't call her to pick me up. So fine, I asked if I could be dropped home. Naturally, everyone said no. It was too far. I understood, even though Piccadilly to my house is about the same distance as Piccadilly to Sunway. Fine. I wasn't really expecting someone to drive me back home anyway I asked for transport to Mid Valley Mega Mall, which was less than 5 minutes away. Nopes... they weren't going that direction. Instead I was told "How about I drop you to Sunway instead?" and "Can I drop you off at Kelana Jaya?" Wait... Mid Valley is less than 5 minutes away... but you're offering to drop me freaking 20 minutes away? At a place further from my house? Am I missing something here?
Yes, I know that as a passenger, it is totally up to the driver. That they do not owe me any transport. They may not owe me, but I think it would be common courtesy (and common sense for a nearer location) to drop your cellgroup member nearby, where it's more convenient to go back home. Nope... nothing of the sort was offered. And I'm not even asking them to go freaking far here. If I was some new member or friend, they'd surely make the effort and go freaking far to drop them off. A regular church member? Nah, he can find his way back. I'd rather they tell me to find my way back instead of dropping me off at Sunway or Kelana. I mean seriously, were brains used when making those statements? You know I live in Cheras. You know my house is relatively near Piccadilly. You know that Mid Valley is freaking near Piccadilly. And you want top drop me back more than thrice the distance away? More than thrice, remember that.
It's funny. I've been in church for 8 years now, coming close to the start of my ninth year, and in every cellgroup I've been in, I've at least bonded with them decently. Even if things did not go well with the cellgroup as a whole, relationships and bonds were forged. I am not feeling much of that here, even before I began working. With certain people, yes, definitely, but not the cellgroup. Is there a movie outing going on? Ask everyone! Except me. Any plans? Tell everyone! Except me. Are we going for Sunday service? Let him find out when he reaches church on Saturday! Thus I joined Issey's cellgroup very often, and it was like I was in two separate cellgroups. And I bonded so well with Issey's cellgroup as well. And much less with my own, despite seeing them in cellgroup meetings as well.
Since I have begun working, I have not attended one cellgroup meeting, due to work ending late. By the time I finished, borrowed the car and driven over, cellgroup would be over, and most likely they'd be in the middle of eating. Yeah, I know I'm making the cellgroup seem horrible. They aren't. Hell, they celebrated m birthday and bought me a very fashionable and a very nice bag. When I represented the cellgroup for the subzone Bible quiz, they supported me very well, and very enthusiastically. Jokes, laughters and all that. But all I asked for was transport to a place really nearby, and suddenly, if it's inconvenient for them even in the slightest (even if it just requires a small U-turn), they can't be bothered. I'm mainly complaining on the events on that day, although bitching here and there about the general picture.
I thought Jesus said if you'll travel with someone one mile, go with him two? Again, like I've said... one of the strongest cases to show how Christianity changes people is the Christians themselves. They are the best and worst "evidences" in the case for Christ. And as if to add insult to injury, today I was asked whether I was free to attend cellgroup. Knowing I had no transport back, I said I'd pass. Ai Lee offered to drive me back home, even though she wasn't going herself. She was going to take the trouble to drive to the cellgroup place, and drive me back home. Why wasn't this offered when I really needed it on Sunday? And I don't mean a ride back home. I just needed a ride to Mid Valley. When I really needed it, it wasn't offered. When I don't need it, it's generously offered. What. The. Hell?
The insult to injury wasn't mainly that though. The cellgroup went for the Deepavali outing at Vintry, and never told me. But if there's a cellgroup meeting, they tell me! Wow, how holy! Geez. Perhaps I am glad that I only see them once a week. Yes, I'm using harsh language here. But seriously, I'm not offended on the fact I wasn't there at the outing with them. I was offended that they didn't bother asking. And I'm not desperate for an outing with them. I have way too many friends, and with plenty of activities, although I try to space them evenly and perhaps interlink them when I can. As cocky and arrogant as it sounds, I don't really lose out too much if I lose a small group of friends, or a few individuals. There have been many friendships I have been prepared to throw away because although I value the friendship tremendously, I know that I have so many other friends of equal value, and thus I hardly worry. The only time I would worry is if I lost all my friends. And that, based on my current score, is never going to happen. And, it would also free up a lot of my time as well.
The less I expect from this cellgroup, the happier I'm going to be. "Dedicated" Christians - They will cross mountains, valleys and a thousand miles for God but won't drive you a mile or two to help you out. No wonder I am amazed by Christ. I am appalled by "Christians".
Yeah, since it was such a trouble and bother to drive me back, I decided to skip the cellgroup meeting. What's the point of being offered something you were denied when you really needed it? It could have been the first one I attended since I began working. I decided to pass on it instead, making it the first cellgroup meeting I've intentionally missed. Honoured?
Fallen
8:52 AM
in the grip of darkness
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Aye, like I said in my previous post, I'm resigning.
I've worked at Creative Thumbprint for almost 5 months now ( two months after my graduation exhibition, which I still brag about, and which I'm very proud of, has been used as an example to other colleges as a great success. In KL and in Singapore. And that adds more to the bragging. Lmao.) as a graphic designer, which seems incredible, as I've had a working life for close to half a year. Throughout these 5 months, I've done a lot of work, relatively few designs I'm extremely proud of, and also, a lot of mistakes. Of course, I've learned from them, but there's a few issues that have driven me to resign this early. My initial plan was to work until the end of December, and resign, unless I was extremely satisfied with the workplace, at which I'd work for one full year. Then I'd leave. That was always my plan. And then a few things started happening...
Firstly, the colleagues. Now, I'm not bitching about them. They are very friendly people, and because it's such a small company, there's no office politics, despite some friends of mine denying that's impossible. Yet it is. There's no tension between anyone, and everyone is generally friendly with each other. They're pleasant people. The thing that annoys me however, is that they aren't very smart. Yeah, it sounds shallow but try enduring retardedness for half a year.
There's a few things... like one time a colleague was showing us a website that claimed it could determine a person's gender by their birthdate and some other minor details. I called bullshit, as I knew it was just as stupid as zodiacs and horoscopes. She said it was true, and a few of us tried it for our birthdays. Every single one was wrong. And she still believed it, because there was a website on it.
Another time they talked about satay. Its a Malay word, and they were claiming satay was of Chinese origin; that it referred to three pieces of meat satay was traditionally known for. I was skeptical, and researched it. In the end I was right for doubting. Traditionally it was four pieces, which throws the 3-piece theory to hell.
One other time it was the Hungry Ghost Festival, and one of my colleagues was wearing red. Another colleague claimed wearing red would attract ghosts to you, and he actually got so scared he went back and changed his shirt. Seriously?
Another time we talked about religion. The bosses are all Christian. The rest of the colleagues are all Buddhists, with me as the exception. One of them is a baby Christian with very messed up theology and strong Buddhist beliefs. I threw a bit of philosophy of evil gods into the topic and no one could answer me. One tried, and failed horribly, claiming evil gods are of fake religions, and only good gods were true religions, with no arguments to back up her claim.
There's a lot of other stuff like this that continually happened, and I realized that they weren't very intelligent. Friendly? Yes, academically smart? Oh definitely. Talented? Sure. Intelligent? No. Philosophically-capable? Nada. All this stuff annoyed me 'cause I can't stand crap, and I get it all the time. It's not aimed towards me (apart from the occasional bitching of Christianity by the colleagues), but hearing it all the time is enough to get anyone annoyed. This was just a minor reason. They're still pleasant people overall.
Another reason is I don't click with them very well. Yes, I know it's a company and as colleagues our priority is not to make friends, but to work with one another. However, friendships are going to form regardless if people click well. And I don't. Yes, there's laughter, jokes, talks, discussions and all that but it's very shallow, very on the surface. Add to the fact that everyone there is a native Chinese-speaker (include the dialects) and pretty often there's nothing much to say unless the conversation suddenly turns to English. I may understand Cantonese and Mandarin, but there's a lot of information lost in translation as I'm not that fluent.
And one more thing that was the main force for me to resign early, and not wait longer. During my fourth month, I was evaluated for confirmation, and whether I passed my probation. It was supposed to be only three months, but they wanted to drag it to five months to evaluate me longer. Okay, their reasons? Firstly, they doubted whether I was passionate in design. Why? Because they said I wasn't very initiative (that word again! Used against me by a lot of people I know) and didn't seem very interested. Firstly, that hardly counts as a lack of passion. And just because someone's passionate about something, does that mean they won't slack at certain points? Especially when you're stuck in an office for 11-12 hours a day? Plus even in college, all the top students; they're passionate and skilled. Do you think they enjoy every single one of their assignments? I highly doubt so. They can take it as a lesson, or training, but I highly doubt that they will be passionate for every single assignment and give it 100% no matter what. Every single one? I don't think so. And for the corporate world, there's a lot of boring jobsheets. I can do them. Does that mean I'll be interested in it? No... I find it really hard to be passionate over a flyer that needs to look cheap and "Giant/Mydin-ish" promoting food for sale prices. I do it differently and I'm told there's no "feel" to it. Some jobs are much more interesting than others, and so I would argue with the so-called observation that I am not interested in work. Perhaps you only observe me when I do boring jobs, and not the more interesting ones. In addition, I freely admit there are days where I do my work slowly, to drag time. But they're not common, and I only do it when it's like Friday, or it's nearing 7pm or 8pm. Not in the middle of the day, when there's still plenty of hours left. Yet this counts as lack of passion. I don't see it equated, but apparently the bosses do.
The bosses also said that for certain jobs I took too long. They could only specify two. I'd been working for 4 months at the time and all they could come up with was two? I've done a lot more jobsheets than that. I think percentage-wise, I'm pretty reasonable. One took really, long, and fine, I admit that one took a while to do, because there were constant amendments, and I began slowing down after a while. Is that my fault? Okay, fine. My fault. The second, it was hardly my fault. I'm only supposed to do amendments when contact reports are made and I change it accordingly. I was accused of not doing this certain job and it took so many days to do one tiny amendment. First of all, only when I was given the contact report, did I make the change and it was within minutes. I was given the contact report late. It's not my fault is it? Why should I be blamed for being slow on that? And I challenged them to bring up a case where I did not do amendments when given contact reports on time. Nothing could be brought up.
One of the last complaints they had was that a certain business card mockup I did was of extremely poor quality and thus, unfit to show to a client. Okay, fine. But let me defend myself. Their complaint was that it was printed on simile paper, with two papers stuck together back to back. It looked flimsy and unpresentable. Eh, okay. I guess if it was supposed to be shown to the client, that would be pretty bad. But I didn't know it was supposed to be shown to the client. Every (yes, EVERY) single mockup I've done had been on simile paper. To show to who? I don't know, I'm just told to do it. The designers have nothing to do with meeting clients anyway, so it doesn't really concern me. Plus I've been doing mockups here and there for the four months I've been there, and there was never a complaint about simile paper. Every mockup, unless specifically specified, used simile paper and it's always been fine. Yet for the namecard, suddenly I'm told it was meant for the client (which was never told to me) and why did I use simile paper, and didn't ask? Well, maybe because it's been fine for a third of a year! No complaints, no nothing. I make one flimsy card, and suddenly I'm asked why am I not inquisitive enough for this, and why don't I question more. If I've been doing something the same way for 4 months, and it's acceptable, I hardly feel the need to question why this particular round would need to be questioned. Especially when the question of asking more was never brought up in previous mockups, and they were all accepted.
I defended myself in every case, and they didn't answer back very thoroughly. I brought up the fact that I avail myself to help out the other designers in things like mockups or Photoshopping stuff or what whenever I'm asked, which explained away their insistence on my lack of initiative. Plus, I challenged them to go ask everyone in the design studio who always asks for the next job the most often. It is me. When I finish my work, I listen to a song or two, refill my cup, rest for a few minutes, maybe load up a song or something on Youtube, and then ask for the next job. And I do this very often. Too often in fact, that I realize many of the other designers don't do this. Regardless of why, I still hold the the fact that I ask "What's the next job?" the most frequently, and I boldly challenged the bosses to ask anyone in the design studio to prove my claims. You know what's the worst part? They said something along the lines of "We weren't aware of that." Great.
A legitimate case they brought against me was the fact that I read articles throughout the day. After a period of hectic designing, or when I'm resting a bit, I'd tend to read news articles from Yahoo!, MSN or other sites. I refrained from checking out comics and that sort of stuff. I openly read articles in front of them, because it didn't ruin my productivity (to me anyway) and it was never "fun" stuff. However they had a problem with it and told me to stop. Okay, I can respect that. I'm wrong for reading articles during work, even if it didn't affect me. So I stopped. Another case they brought up was me arriving at work at 9:30am when I was supposed to be coming in at 9am. I said that everyone's reading newspapers or eating breakfast, and no one really does their work until 9:30am. So slowly I began to use that extra half an hour for sleep, and arrive just in time and start work immediately. Instead of slacking around for half an hour, and doing my work. However, I'm rightfully supposed to arrive at 9am anyway, and for that I'm wrong as well. Very well, I began arriving at 9am, or at least around there since then. A few mistakes I made in previous jobs was also brought up as a reminder, and I duly took note of them, as they were completely of my own fault, and I recognized them as such. This in turn led to comments on my observation, and attention for detail. Another criticism they leveled on me was I was poor at layouts, and interesting colour combinations, which I'd say is subjective, but is still something they have every right to bring up and I may be merely blind to their legitimate constructive criticisms.
So, their complaints were mainly I wasn't passionate and took too long. And they wanted to drag my probation up to 5 months. I wasn't going to stand for it. My pay is only RM1700. I was cut down from my requested amount of 1800, because it was to match a colleague of mine. I initially thought after the supposed 3-month probation that I would get increased pay, and leaving at the end of the year or one year later would be reasonable. But if I get confirmed now? I'll be leaving like in a month or two, right after confirmation. I would feel bad for doing that, so soon. But since my probation was still ongoing, and my pay was still the same, I decided to resign and mentioned it during the evaluation after hearing all they brought against me. If they aren't aware of the contributionss I've made, I might as well resign now than wait. I said it'd be easier. I get to take a break, rest, and re-evaluate myself, while they wouldn't need to worry about confirming me. After all, I lack passion to them right? Why would you want a passionateless guy in a design firm?
A bonus would be that I have working experience now, and can request for higher pay. Even if I'm cut down, it'll still be higher than what I earn now. Plus I'll get a new job, and it'll be something new. Something for better or for worse? I don't know. I'll let the future show me.
Now, I know this post seems like a hate post on the company. It is not. It's merely to explain why I resigned, and some details regarding why. I learned a lot of valuable skills and many minor details to look out for, that I never did back in college. I have no qualms with any of the colleagues. Like I said, they're all friendly. Not intelligent, but friendly, and helpful. If I need help, they'll help, or suggest things to do, for improvements on my designs. It's just hearing crap very often is annoying, and they're also pretty racist as well, which doesn't bode well with me, even though I'm never a victim of their racist remarks. Just hearing it is unpleasant. The last things that pushed me to resign are all mentioned there, with reasons. And so, my final week of work approaches.
Creative Thumbprint and Yellow Thumbprint has been a very interesting time, with much learned, minor friendships forged, income earned, and now, a path for somewhere else... hmmm.
Fallen
5:56 AM
in the grip of darkness
Friday, October 21, 2011
So, a proper update at last. Lol. Since I've got way too much to cover in the last few weeks, I thought I should blog some more recent events first.
So last Saturday, I woke up at noon to get ready to meet a potential client. As I'm resigning from Creative Thumbprint at the end of the month, I thought I'd seek out a few jobs now. Slowly though... I'm not really in a rush and all. I want to take a short rest as well. My mom thinks otherwise, and is constantly nagging me to hurry up and find another job, telling me it was a big mistake to quit my current job. I have very good reasons though, and I'll mention them later.
I met the client, Jason Tan, at The Curve, and we had a small chat, with two of his partners there as well. Apparently they want some sort of freelance/contractual basis thing for designers. Like within a period of two weeks, or a month, they'll give me some jobs, and I give them what I do, and they pay me. After that if they want to continue hiring me we'll do it again for another two weeks or a month. Pretty tempting. Especially when the work can be done from home, and I only need to meet them twice a week, just to get jobs, and updates. I'll need to convince them first however, with a small job they'll be giving me.
I was extremely tired 'cause the previous night was Halloween Night at TOA, and I went back to support Sacwrath, Justin's band, which I haven't blogged about in here yet 'cause I'm so lagging on updates. Lol. Headbanged, chilled, celebrated David's birthday and went for a drinking session at Justin's place where I ended up falling asleep. Plus I was told that my hands were in prayer as I slept the entire time! In addition to tiredness (and a stuff neck), I was really hungry too so I went to Ikea and got the SWEDISH MEATBALLS. One of the ultimate foods to ever exist! While lining up, I bumped into Julie (aka Jules), who I've been getting to know really well and close, in recent months. We hugged, caught up and had a bit of smalltalk before ordering and going our separate ways.
Went to Subang to meet up with my band members. And because of more lack of updates, Ryan and Hadi have both left the band, and we've recruited Harish, a very passionate guitarist. Still missing a drummer though. did some songwriting and went to eat and chat and get to know Harish better.
I was bloody bored and it's very rare I have a Saturday night free, doing nothing at all. So I decided to go to Sunway and use the Unifi there at one of the restaurants, and lo, I saw Nikke's pink car. I stopped by and saw Nikke and Kevyn at Home Chef Recipe. My initial plan was to chat with them and wait till they went off to use the internet, but eventually I joined them for KFC and later went to chill at Ming Tien, talking and sharing stories and jokes all the way from 9pm to 3am. Geez! And it was just the three of us. Redzuan and Masayo did drive past us while we were at Ming Tien but they didn't notice us, and they eventually drove to KFC (the irony).
I was getting tired so we said our "Nights" and I went home to sleep. I was supposed to wake up for church tne next day, but I ended up waking up at 8pm. This marks the third time I've overslept for church this year, and its getting to be quite an issue. A very big annoyance too 'cause its not intentional, but I just can't wake up with my alarm quite often. Even with sufficient rest. Very awkward. I'm still used to attending Saturday services... *sigh*.
Anyway, like I said, I was resigning from work right? After five months? So fast? Yeah. Read my next post for all the reasons.
Fallen
8:55 AM
in the grip of darkness
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Singapore, Festival of the Tritone, Tyranny of the Eight, Miki, broken hard disk, James' birthday, Khar Loo, Essenism, tarot cards, Kai Yih, Caffeines, work. Oh God, so much to update.
Since I've been back from Singapore, there's been a ton of events and incidents that have happened. Some fun, some great, some sad, and some horrifying. Yeah, I said horrifying. Not to me, but the incident that happened to my friend. Seriously. Who the hell whacks their own daughter?
I'm still FREAKING tired though, so I guess proper updates will need to wait. I fell asleep in the office a few times today. Freaking exhausted. And I have much to catch up on my blog. Lmao.
Nitez people.
Fallen
12:14 AM
in the grip of darkness
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
My first day in, and I already met up with the Magic Gang. Woots.
Usually when I came down I would take a bus in the afternoon or evening, and arrive extremely late in Singapore, go to whichever friend's house I was staying in, and just casually catch up and chill, rest and go out the next day. Rarely have I ever had an actual event on the day I came down itself. I remember the last time this happened was clubbing with Gary and Darren and Double O, After arriving from KL, I dropped my stuff at Koh Wee's place, and went off clubbing. On the same day. Needless to say I was exhausted, and with the amount I drank that night, for the first time I actually lost my memory and woke up on the MRT with no idea how I got there. This kind of alcoholic memory loss would occur in the future, but at that time it was the first time, and I was freaked by how I couldn't recall ANYTHING. I've wondered at times how it felt to lose your memory, and I experienced it firsthand. Yeah. Yu En, ever the doctor, later explained it was due to the alcohol affecting thalamine, something involved in the storage of memories. Gee whiz.
Anyway, some of them weren't free Sunday, when I came down. Seong Voon and Joel weren't able to make it, but thankfully, the rest were available. The moment I reached Woodlands, I went straight to Koh Wee's place, changed (travelling 5 hours works up a sweat) and off we went to Causeway Point! And well... it didn't look like Causeway Point anymore, lol. It looked so different, so much more modern, and a lot more aesthetically pleasing. the outside hasn't changed at all, but the interiors all looked really Orchard-ish. There's still plenty of construction, and like 75% of all the shops have moved locations. Several stores I'd been seeing for the last 10 years have gone. Everything was so different. And the Magic Gang that showed up was also different. Heh, for one thing, Nicholas and Wei Yu now smoke! Lmao. The first smokers of the Magic Gang, Nicholas also had a shaved head. Zameer's in army, Wei Yu's working in Yahoo! and Wilson and Koh Wee have more or less remained the same. We ate in Hot Tomato catching up on many things, and later walked around while chatting and crapping around. It was a great time to catch up, and Koh Wee's opened a chalet for the weekend, so I hope that'll lead to some fun as well later on during the week.
Anyhoo, meeting up my dad in JB. He's moved from the old place in Bukit Mewah, to somewhere I don't know... so let's see where my new address is in JB. Great. Now my 12th address of my life, in a sense.
Fallen
3:58 AM
in the grip of darkness
